Thursday, May 31, 2007

Hi5 and other networks

They seem to be all over the place. One could say the same for blogs I guess but that's a bit different. I don't get emails every other day to join some blog or the other.

So I get an invitation [several actually] recently to join some group or other. This one and that. Would I like to join so and so on the coolest scene there is. It's touching to realise that someone knows I exist, and thought to invite me. I click on the link, with a touch of apprehension. I'm immediately confronted with a registration page. I hate having to register for anything on the web. I completely refuse to register to read newspapers. Not that I actually read news, but anyway. This dislike for the registration process probably goes back to my days in campus, and initial encounters with the Internet. All those XXX sites that promised free access, if only I registered. Let's just say I suffered irreparable damage. Anyway. I don't typically register for stuff and am wary of stuff that's labeled "free". Unless it's open source of course. [I wonder if there's open source porn]

So let's say I do register. Am I meant to give my real world names, address, photo and the like? Is it just me, or am I paranoid. And once you're in, what kind of things does one do. Chat, trade photos? If I joined all those 10 networks I'd have to be taking loads of photos. Probably make lots more friends but I'd have to be spending a lot of time on the web. My excuses are lame as always but if I get an invite and don't oblige, si kwa ubaya.

Return of the Celtese

It was one of the days that shook Nairobi. In my circles at least. Got word around mid morning of some significant pay rises for the Celtese [copyright 0.5]. I know certain sections of the IT workforce had been experiencing serious haemorrhage. More significant than I had seen at one of my former employers. More than what I'm seeing at my current employer. It's the nature of things I guess, these days. How people ever worked at one place all their lives is a mystery.

I'm not sure whether this change in fortunes was as a result of departures, arrivals [of new management] or just a general reevaluation of the status quo. It always makes me happy though to see good things coming the way of other guys. And I do know a few people who should be a bit happier. A lot better off. Deservedly so. Some guys who were considering making a dash for it should be staying put. I know of at least one guy who'd like to go back. The HR department must be swamped with new job applications. Their bottom line may take a bit of a hit but I've always figured that "good" renumeration benefits an organisation in the long run. Then again I know nothing about running a business.

Monday, May 28, 2007

copeid from uncyclopedia (

Preceeded by such methods as fire and cold food, Girls are used in restaurants and homes around the world.
While some people advocate that the place for girls is in the kitchen (where they are most useful), others suggest that keeping your girl outside cuts down on clean up and reduces the overall hassle associated with owning and maintaining a girl.

Girls are good for preparing a lad a fine dinner
Girls were first discovered by Adam cooking apples beneath the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil . Due to their ability to radiate heat, girls were found to be useful in the kitchen and in bed. However, men became dissatisfied with the the primitive ver BETA girl 1.00 and its limited functionality. Girl 2.0 models are now created in laboratories in southern Spain. In order to accommodate their new functionality they have been designed to run on more energy-rich fuels, most notably money and credit cards.
Customer model girls used in the home are typically fuelled by either charcoal or propane. Commercial girls are typically fuelled by either propane or liquefied natural gas. Food cooked with propane girls tends to be less tasty, but is significantly faster to heat and prepare. As of first quarter 2005, General Electrics has introduced a new hybrid model, which is far safer for the environment. However, most users prefer the older models, as they are widely considered "fskin' hawt" in contrast to the newer models.
Prominent girl manufacturers include Weber and Coleman, Ford, Kikkoman, Kaiser Permanente, Panasonic, and George Foreman. Chainsaw Jack, former CEO of Sunbeam, lost his job for improperly booking sales of his girls to distribution channels.

Who is employing?

My bro (whom we shall call [0.5 - 5 years]. I know that does not exactly make mathematical sense, but since when did mathematics mean anything?) needs a job. He is driving me nuts, sleeping in the house, reducing the service life of my DVD player. Can any of you guys help?

About [0.5 - 5 years]:
Recently graduated (JKUAT)

BSc in Information Technology (I don't exactly know what this qualifies you for)
Hates programming (But I am more than ready to re-arrange his dental formula should a programming job come up and he does not take you can rest easy on that one)

No salary floor. Nothing will change for me if you give him either 100,000 bob or 0 bob)

Don't know his grade either. He does not tell me and the last time I checked, I could not read minds!

Hobbies: Only one. Drinking. Can't tell if he will drink on the job because he does not have one. But I am kinda hoping he does not.

Oh sorry he has another one. Not returning change. Even for a whole 1000 and the items bought are just one Fanta. Feigns incomprehension to all human languages until 1000 exists no more.

See? Crisis. Help a brother.

What i see, hear and wonder

  1. NTV. Sunday of all days. They call it Boston Legal. Some guy cherishes the day he'll have $ex with a one legged woman. Nothing will stop him. Huuh!
  2. Change the channel. Top story: The economy has grown by more 6%-What's the contribution of pyramid schemes. some say they have increased peoples wealth by 300%, Change again: An MP is screaming in parliament-widened democratic space?
  3. Ever in a mat sat next to a beautiful young one who occassionally turns her face towards you, and never gathered the courage to say Hi, at least give the rest of your week a meaning? This stuff happened. To me.Not done still beating myself up.
  4. Cameras. Wanted a snap at every opportunity between age 2 to mid-college.walking with a chic in a public park. She wants one. She pays. hell No! I don't know why but i feel i don't need this. This makes chic very uncomfortable, i can see but she sas it's okay. Pure pananoia in play on my part. Is there camerophobia, Park-walk-traceophobia, have-my-picophobia?
  5. Calenders. I have 5 in my house. All from my employer. I never use per common sense. A friend wants one. I am not parting. Actually one is folded-was supposed to be given to someone. It's May. And it's still folded for delivery. All this paper work was replaced by my Cellphone, Just like watches-Those Mhindi Watch shops must be goin' down. By the way, i see alot of calenders with Kibaki and his cabinet on the streets- Latest one: Biwott and his wing of New Kanu.
  6. Career path? When in your life did you decide to become an IT guy? I get asked in every interview. To be honest-Never. I was called to a course I didn't know and barely survived through. Then I needed a job. They offered me just enough to keep me from going back to where KNEC had fished me. I was once doing coaching. I taught chemistry. Told the students there are many opportunities. I got a call last month. “MJ I need a job”. Can't say-"sorry i lied"i will try. Gdbye. I am supposed to mentor someone. Bad Idea. I have changed jobs out of availability of more coins-Actually no choice on my part. I suit my CV to any job and answer questions only in ways to get the job at hand. They will ask this question next time.
  7. Been watching a series in the office. Called Vanished. Not bad. I am in the 8th Episode. My boss is on leave. I actually said I can work with minimum supervision.

Hey baibe

It's the reason I don't like the autocomplete feature of textboxes on browsers. That's what popped up as I was composing an email at a cyber cafe the other day. Yeah. Most of my emails have the subject "Hey". So as soon as I start typing a whole list pops up, with things like "Hey Darling!". Nope. I don't want to use that one, or the 5 other variations made available to me.

My days in campus taught me loads about the use of shared/public computers. Don't close any windows you find open. That would cause your head to be torn off in those days. And no, clicking Yes to save before closing isn't acceptable either. You may overwrite a guys code with stuff he never intended to save. Another side effect of not having your own PC is that your google search strings and URLs you visit become public knowledge. I think that's how I first came across [NSFW]. So I became paranoid about stuff I type in web pages. Although I guess blogs don't count.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Terrific Tuesdays

Morning dear. hpe u had a grt night. want to ask you a favour. if in the course of the day you toka mapema, si you holla we meet. Have a lovely day.

This is an early morning msg. i set my alarm to wake me up at 7:30. I am serious. This message was sent at 6. I must be in trouble or someone is crazy abt me. I don't like suprises, so i reply. Whats up? are you ok. In a minute my reply is back

I am just feeling down emotionally. ad just need a friend.

This are the messages i don't need. May be she has done something crazy and wants me to tell her it's okay. I am poor in handling emotional wrecks, and the words 'am sorry' are so hard to come out. i fell just short of asking 'what have you done?'

Monday, May 21, 2007

RA. The first time .........

A self-absorbed, narcissistic rant. Technical. Boring. You might want to go here instead.

She sits at my desk, all the while smiling. I mellow out, the stress of the relatively short day seems to lift somewhat.
Hi 0.5, how are you doing?
I am good. I am good.
Lets get started then. This will only take 20 minutes.
I open a telnet session. What do you want to know miss? She pulls out a thick, stapled stack of papers, and starts firing questions.
Pull this. Run this query. Let me see a list of the running services. Gee you are mad at this unix stuff, huh? Wow that is a really nice feature.
And for my part i get the information. Save for two or three queries which I did not know how to get the info out.
Sorry miss, I have no idea how to do that. I will ask T and get back to you on that. Honesty. It is drummed into your head continuously

The report.
About a week later I am walking to my desk only to find my boss there, grinning:
0.5 there is something I want you to see.
He hands over a 10 page document; There in is a verse that is very memorable.
The __ system, not only violates most of __'s security standards, but poses a high fraud risk. Some of our findings indicate .........In addition, the person assigned to the review is in-experienced or untrained at best, and seemed not to know what he was doing. We would like to request another resource who is better versed for another review.

Gotcha! How flattering. I was hurt, betrayed but most of all, angry. I was seething. What happened to "I understand"? "No worries. You can give the information later"? The report had gone very high up before it started trickling down. My boss found it all very amusing.

The revenge.
Another review was indeed scheduled and a person with greater knowledge than me assigned. Except he is Indian, with a poor grasp of English and phrasing everything in pure programming-speak. Dear girl and her team were treated to long lectures about Java, indexing, transactions, clustering and other such mundane stuff.
"Vat I tell you is, __ is totally object oriented!". I was nearby. It was hilarious. A day later they asked for me. My boss refused. Said I was too busy.

The war.
1 week later they were back. New demands, change of tact. A tersely worded email landed in my inbox (after trickling down the chain of course).
Hi 0.5, we would like you to extract data from date x1 to date x2 for analysis. I was not in a mood to accommodate anyone so I replied;
Hi back dear audit people, to maintain integrity of the end data, I suggest that you extract the data yourselves. This way there can be a system trail and a 100% guarantee that there has been no tampering. A proper account with select permissions only shall be created for your use.
It seemed a fair enough suggestion, didn't it? I put a disclaimer that it would be a lot of data. There were mail nods everywhere. I had an ace up my sleeve. The database is a jungle with thousands of tables. To wade through that to get the information required needed a really close familiarization with the 1500+ pages manual. Hihi. People got stuck. So another email started doing rounds.
IT was requested to avail this information and they have not done it. This is delaying blah ...blah.......Ok! You got me. I extracted the data. 500 characters per line. Pad with character ' '. Each file came to 30GB. Close to 150GB in total.
Hello ladies and gentlemen. I have your data ready.

The meeting.
0.5, we cannot work with the information you gave us.
And why not?
The files are too large. They cannot be loaded into our system.
Did not I warn you about the size of the information you requested?
That is beside the point. Even you cannot work with the files.
But I can. What do you want to see?

Its a black screen. fgrep and grep. I am extracting small chunks of information, just as they ask.
See? You can work with the file.
But you are an IT guy. You would know what to do. Ahhh....and you wouldn't.

It is very simple. If you will need my professional services in the future, don't f__k with me.

Then today (by the same sunny bunch):

Below is a list of services running on the __ box and need to be shutdown because they can be exploited in an attack on the system.
1. RPC service
2. Sendmail
3. TCP service
4. dtspcp
5. rexcd
6. FTP

Yeah. Shutdown RPC, TCP and FTP and then tell me how a server is supposed to work? I should have asked them if they intended to hook up a plastic pipe to the server and connect it to every other desktop PC.

1. Do not start watching 24 if you are going to work the following day
2. I wanted Mourinho to be humiliated. Get nothing. Still losing out on the premier league and champion's league ought to have plastered enough egg on his face. Why not just approach FA, UEFA and FIFA; Hey dudes, here is ₤500 million apiece, just give us the trophies! Then bribe every club with ₤50 million in the leagues as compensation pay for lost revenues! Guess we can't always get what we want.

The marking scheme

ngrrrrr. that's my ringtone. hi (lets use MJ for matejivu) MJ, we are calling you for an interview at our offices at *****. Sorry? a tweng and psh! Nothing. Don want to look too slow so i hang up. someone inhouse can confirm and tell me in queens english.
I had just attended an internal management interview a month ago. Had a mwakenya on the questions and samborera helps me cram the script over a bottle of soda. i went so smooth that anyone would have offered me the job. 2 wks later and an external guy has passd his 2nd interview for the same job. I am pssd off, but MJ dont take things personal. i told myself. This is where i learnt of a 'marking scheme'
1. Education 20%
2. Certifications/Experience 10%
3. An achievement 10%( you get the whole ten if you are a nobel peace price winner)
4. Allegiances and other factors 30% - Lakeside or the Mountains? you get 0 0r 30 depending on which side you are on.
5. Other bullshit 30 %. Those stupid questions from old school managers which have no use at work.

I was banking on the first 2 questions so i failed terribly. I have put the whole past behind me. I am moving on.

So this is supposed to be a technical one. The marking sheme must be different. It's now time to
read from page 1 to 100 of technical manuals and only get to anwer 2 questions.

First i have to fill a form. addresses,previous employers,next of kin? i can even put 0.5. I am not dying soon and if so, i won't have any money.
5 interviewers 2 of them ladies. The first question is not in memory. It's called a cache miss in comps. i struggle through. My best were the HR questions: What inspires you?( i have no idea),
what do you do during your leisure time? do you have any weaknesses?( i quickly say my management skills since this is a teki job)

Shock on me 2 minutes later when i am told it was a management position ( i have just screwed myself). The marking scheme must have been in use.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Bread crumbs. Freshly baked

So my sis declares that she's going to get ingredients for a component of supper. [We were to look around the fridge for the other stuff to eat. I love our house] Can't remember what she called this particular speciality. Must have been one of those strange, exotic names [because I asked twice] people give to perfectly ordinary food. Like calling dania something that sounds like only the queen would have access to. Or like something out of the 18th century, that only the queen would have access to. I actually used to wonder which upmarket markets these items were bought at. [Yes. I did watch a couple of cookery shows]

She's going to get some eggs and bread crumbs. I didn't think about it much at the time, apart from the images of a couple of eggs and some brown bread that came to mind. The stuff, whatever she called it [egg something I believe] was absolutely scrumptious. It was much later that I was in the kitchen and noticed a packet of some brown stuff. It said, simply, bread crumbs. Still nothing registered but something did strike me as odd. I leaned in to take a closer look. Yup. Freshly baked bread crumbs. From Uchumi no less. They sell bread crumbs? Bake them even?

Going against the norm

I've been out of the office for a while now [I'm now being required to check in a couple of evenings at least per week to progress [is there really such a verb] some work, but that's another story]. I quickly realized, on like the third such day, that I needed to acquire additional casual wear [T-shirts]. It has been a while since my last major wardrobe change. The suits have been far between, and few. Can you say procrastination.

Nowadays, I only get to wear my favourite attire, T-shirt na jeans, once a week. And apparently it's not proper attire for going out. One is meant to put more effort than just throwing some random clothes on. How else are the ladies meant to pick you out. This is one of the many respects in which I admire women. How they almost always look absolutely fabulous. I'll stop myself before I start to drool.

So. The other day, I found myself purchasing an English premier league team branded shirt. Something I would normally not do. But I like the way it looked, and needed something new to cover my stomach. Reminds me of this other time [the one and only other I believe] that I bought a football themed shirt. I saw this item with "CCCP" emblazoned on the front. Brought a big smile to my face. Memories of the European championships of 1988 came flooding back. Talk of nostalgia. I ended up buying the "Brazil" shirt that time, but only because I felt getting the two would be like buying the same thing in only different colours. Not that I haven't done that on a number of other occasions.

Anyway. Now I'll get to resemble a host of other Nairobians on the odd Saturday afternoon. Probably have to justify my following of some football team, or respond to some annoying comment[s]. Probably not. It's just a shirt. If they win the Champions League though, it's still just a shirt.


I wonder if its a peculiarly Kenyan thing. The obsession with free things, and the consequent bending over backwards of providers of goods and services to accommodate this mind set. I've just been reminded that our politicians are currently falling over themselves in proclaiming how things will be better, and free, should they come to power. But I don't talk about [Kenyan] politics. So called politics anyhow.

So I get this sms the other day. I gleefully take a look at my [aging] phone. It's not a good sign, I don't think, of one's social state when there's such anticipation at an incoming text. What can I say. Haven't gotten a number in ages. Haven't purged either. Apathy. As it turned out, lots of people must have got the sms I did. It was from SAFARICOM. In caps no less. My heart sunk. SAFARICOM isn't female, and I never win anything if there is a promotion going on. My spirits were somewhat raised as I read through the message. Something about Bonga [reward] points. What made an impression though was the number of times the term "free" appeared in the message. I've since deleted the message [I do that after reading or responding to a text. Once bitten, forever shy] but there were like 3 or 4 references. It's free to call this number. Sms this other free number to get some thing or other. Free. I got the feeling the emphasis was on purpose. Made me chuckle.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

My chic

Wait. Wait. There are no dramatic revelations following. Probably should have thought about the title a bit longer. I've all but forgotten how to do this.

Anyway. As I was saying. There's this guy I know [and again I'm not refering to myself] who's sentences are eternally punctuated by "my chic". My chic this and my chic that. When I was ... my chic... The other day ... my chic... I find it interesting that all these pronunciations are made with a straight face, even as I flinch every single time. Sure, the guy will likely marry this particular gal, and how else does one refer to his chic when he's mentioning something in which she's involved. Well, you could not refer to her at all [think of something else to talk about when you find yourself about to refer to her], or call her by some other name. Like bananas, or coconuts, or wednesday. Anything but "my chic", or the other common [worse] alternative, "my galfriend". I have nothing against romance, and would probably find myself doing the exact same thing if [IF] I get to a similar situation, and go gaga about someone. [I dread the day. Bitter-sweet is the oxymoron of choice I believe] Right now though, I just find it strange.

P.S: I met my one almost-chic the other day. She's married, with a 3 year old kid.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Cold feet or plain b__itchiness?

Long ago, I had just finished standard eight, looking to go to form one. I manned up, stood before my old man and declared that I wanted to get circumcised. He looked at my tiny frame, then my midsection and laughed out loud. He must have been wondering if there was anything to cut at all. So I proceeded to Form one, a full "kihii" as guys would refer to fellows who had a more complete anatomy than the rest. What followed was a traumatic one year of taunts, showering very early in the morning and feeling very tiny among the rest of the humanity.
After stoically feeding on weevil infested beans (doused with paraffin and whatever other chemical agents they put there), I had added about an inch to my length (vertical, not horizontal)....but this time I was really going to get the cut.
The event has a bitter-sweet feeling about it: On one hand you will leave the domain of small boys and become what they call a man, someone who is free to roam about at night, talking to the girls and not get lip for checking into the house after 7pm. On the other hand, there was the prospect of a guy with a knife around your member. Not a good thing. Your imagination runs riot. What if he trembles and shaves the thing off to the floor?
The day arrives and I was ferried, via a bicycle, to the shopping center doctor. Getting jittery. There are other boys milling about. The doctor, is a miserable excuse for a human being. He is sharpening a long, sharp and mean-looking knife, grinning. He suddenly lunges for one of the fellows, heaves him to the inner chamber, collects the knife and enters the chamber like one whose mission is to dispatch lives to the next dimension. That leaves us terribly scared, bowel movement, gagging and bladders that are about to lose control. Still the urge to flee is suppressed by sheer force of will.

I digress. The purpose of this post is nothing as dramatic as that. Actually its something meant to be pleasurable, save for the eventual turn-out. Kamikaze and myself are having a pint, having already broken the bank. The broke beer is delicious. It has reached a point where we are almost counting coins and thus the huge red flag "go home! go home!" is blinking in my head. I am looking at the last two sips in my glass with a longing, intending to draw them out as long as possible, when suddenly, there is a welcome distraction. Wednesday is smiling and waving gleefully from 10 meters. Kamikaze draws a sharp breath. It is time.
Hi guys, how have you been doing?
Fine and you?
I am with my pal can you join us?

We move over. Drinks have to be bought. The emergency 1000 bob for a rainy day makes a regrettable and hesitant exit from my wallet, but I am looking at the lady in front of me and things like reason, not having money simply do not register. But the charade can't last because last time I checked, 1000 bob was not that much, and in one quick round or two (ladies take expensive - and tiny - things like redbull and heineken) there would be no 1000. Kamikaze gets a brilliant idea.
Hey, why don't we move this party somewhere else. Got drinks and food at the house. I don't have food nor drinks, so it is not my place we shall be going, if we ever go. Wednesday is hesitant. She consults Kamikaze. Apparently she won't go without her friend, lets call her Wednesday-Buddy. She can come, there is lot of space, many beds .....that is Kamikaze now, unbelievable excitement and optimism in his voice. I pull Kamikaze aside and ask him if he has the equipment. Would not want a repeat of what happened with Kebbs (a story for another time)

We are good to go. Kamikaze swallows a full glass of beer in one mighty gulp. We move along, chatting happily and making jokes. Hey taxi! Ngapi mpaka ___? After bried negotiations we are speeding. 10 minutes flat we are there. It was just as was promised. Two beds. Each for a boy and a girl. Perfect. There is the usual smalltalk like civilized people do before big event; how do you like this place? not bad..blah this ...blah that. Cds deftly change hands. Like James Bond tradecraft. Kamikaze moves to the next room with Wednesday and I am left with I Wednesday friend.


The action, or lack thereof, starts with the time honoured sequence (for me, can't speak for all other jamaas out there) by fondling hair, ear and the neck. Then down to the hooter and kissing here and there. She stiffens up. "STOP. I can't".
So the other procedure is engaged. The sweet talk. It is supposed to help the undecided ones get rid of their panties quicker. It does not always work. Today was such a day.
"I have my P's".
Uh-huh. Tired old line. She did not have periods. She was wearing a thong, in total agreement that she didn't have them with a litmus test devised by one of my colleagues who says "kama amevaa suruali kubwa kubwa ujue si kupoa". She rolls into a tight ball and moves to the other side of the bed. I have been suckered. I have been here before and I roll to the other side, trying to cool my sizzling anger and catch some sleep.


This is some stupid bulls**t that a guy should not endure. Its a one night stand. I don't recall holding a gun or a dangerous object to her head, forcing her to come with me. What was she thinking? We were going to Kamikaze's to draw with crayons while singing the National Anthem? Only a moron would not recognize the scenario when a strange guy asks a strange chic; Lets go to my place. These were not morons; They spoke in flawless English. The moment a guy asks a strange chic in a pub to join him to wherever he is going, she should see Morpheus in her mind..."This is your last chance. After this there is no turning back. You take the blue pill, the story ends, and you go home and sleep alone (or with your cat or whatever else). You take the red pill, and know that this stranger in front of you, grinning evilly, wants to f**k you. Let him see how deep your rabbit hole goes." ...

If a chic is going to get cold feet, she should get them at the table. She can have three pairs, even turn her stomach and intestines into molten lead. Say no at exactly that point when he asks. Then he can decide with a clear head whether to continue wasting time talking to her, or wasting money buying drinks.

Otherwise, if she enters the bed, she should put out. One foot is in (in fact her whole body is in - in bed!), why freeze now? I do not mean that chics lose their rights when they enter a jamaas bed or house, what I mean is that less conniving and mean mugging would be nice.


The doctor actually cut with a scalpel, not the long knife.

Friday, May 11, 2007

of one hit wonders and pale pale

Old women feel like resigning from life these days. That is if the masa i sat next to on the mat this morning is anything to go by. Women calling in to declare how men are brief and the men calling in to brag about how they would follow a woman even if she escapes to under the bed during the action.
A case of a guy who narrated of how he takes prostitutes over the night through a thorough appraisal mapaka they kataa any money the following morning as a reward to his zeal.
Now the makanga in the mat, and the boys are bursting at their loudest voices-i am giggling quielty while the mama next to me is so annoyed, she feels like alighting. Occasionally she looks at around mad as if to order the switch off from the official $ex station. But the crowd in is so overwhelmed as the callers one by one narrate their ego as the married ones cry foul of getting a raw deal. One man complains that pale pale imekuwa mbaya kabisa siku hizi.
Now in my esto, you board old mats to avoid $ex movies in the morning. I boarded one, coz i was late and men! Where else do you turn. People now need to buy cars if they want a $ex vibe free morning. The daggers are drawn and the mamas are blazing .

Sunday, May 06, 2007

sunday rambling

Nature,is not without a morbid sense of irony. Manchester United fans will be cheering on bitter rivals Arsenal today.


Dropping habits .....
I think I am done reading Tom Clancy. Hunt for Red October was crisp, tight and action packed. His later novels have increased in length and sadly the level of drivel. On the same breath I think all newspapers are full of cr8p. The reason might be that I do not consume all this political nonsense they spew out.

Won't vote end of this year. And probably never again. Personal opinion though. You, however, are free to and change the country. Happy to be led by whoever you shall choose.


KTN pulled Prison Break Season 1 from its programming. The target audience were catching up on the closing episodes of Season 2, thanks to piracy and contraband DVDs.


Friday 4 am. Technically Saturday 4am. I have just checked in after spending the last few shillings on drinks, stumbling....there is this beautiful girl on the stairs. we strike a conversation as we help each other up the stairs. Sunday morning 10 AM. I am hanging my clothes to dry. She sees me and comes out to say hi.
"I just came to say hi!"
Awwww hell no.
One of my greatest phobias: A desirable woman knowing where I live.


Another woman snatched a cigarette from my mouth ...then she put it back...then told Kamikaze that she stays in my flat and I am pretending I do not recognize her. Now that is some serious nerve. If I were to stroll upto one of the chics who lives here, snatch her lipstick as she is applying it, tell her I know or something I will get a slap or a kick in the groin and get thrown out of the establishment. Men are very accomodating.


You know these songs that go like ..."b88ch i am gonna #nasty something or the other#"?
Why do some women enthusiastically sing or shout along? Beats me every time.


To install DSTV or not?