Friday, July 31, 2009

Queer eye

So this chic was telling me that someone made a pass at her. A gal made a pass at her. "And the problem is?". That was my thought anyway. Seeing gals, seemingly extra friendly to each other, on a night out isn't too dramatic. Perhaps because of that innate lesbian fantasy that is imprinted in every [straight] guy's brain. I wonder what the evolutionary hypothesis for that is.

Anyway. So she isn't too amused at my attempts to brush her concerns aside. She just doesn't like it. This kind of advances. As long as her admirer isn't a psycho stalker, I don't see a problem. It's really not like a guy making a pass at me for instance. It's no fun constantly watching your back.

Hearing this kind of thing isn't new. The first thing I always think of is the apparent imbalance in the male to female ratio. Which is another mystery in itself. When I was a kid. A bunch of us boys would literally jump through hoops to get a chance with one of the few girls around. I'll never forget the girl for whom I agreed to participate in a series of challenges. To be fair, it was more out of coercion from the older boys in the neighbourhood than anything else. I was 10, and the only thing that got me excited was the prospect of playing football all day long. Without going home for lunch. Playing until no one can see the ball anymore. Yeah. That was the best. This idea of doing all sorts of ridiculous things to impress some [cute] girl, I didn't quite get. I obviously lost that battle, and from that day the girl belonged to John.

But, like I was saying, girls were much rarer back then. Fast forward a couple of decades and everywhere you look, all you see are gals. One of the doctors assured me some time back that gender proportions at birth are roughly equal. Found it rather hard to believe because I couldn't satisfactorily answer the question "where have all the boys gone". Whatever the case, perhaps some chics have looked at the statistics and decided the field is too crowded for them. No harm in trying out some gal-love. I've also read commentaries about how men have become good-for-nothing. Not sure what we were good for before. Scaring off wild animals perhaps. Not too many of those roaming the streets anymore. So they give up on men and get closer to their own. Then there are those stories about being hurt in one way or another by one man after another. Makes sense then to try something different. Have a better chance of not being cheated on and getting emotional needs fulfilled. There are workarounds for physical needs so everything's sorted. Whatever the case, I'm really interested in meeting this pal's not-so-secret admirer.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Sam unmarried

Increasingly, and rather alarmingly, acquaintances I meet tend to be mothers, fathers, husbands or wives. It's like a tsunami. Like some unstoppable force of nature. Maybe that's what a guy is meant to do. Primo, seco, campus, work, marriage and/or kids. Students of the model would certainly see it that way. Perhaps that's why some of us have been somewhat lost, tapataparing in the dark as it were. Trying to figure out what we should be doing next. Refusing to accept the model.

My run-ins with those wanting me to take the next step aren't new. But now aunties have gotten into the mix. "Na ile mambo niaje?". I'm a bit of a slow guy so it takes me all of a second to figure out what she's talking about. Then, quite involuntarily, the laugh comes out. For some reason whenever someone mentions me being hooked up in some way, my first reaction is always laughter. Perhaps it's a throwback to my breezing days. Perhaps my subconscious still can't believe that a chic would agree to give me the time of day. But I'm thinking things must be really thick. To be told that if I were to say ng'we, people would arrange for something. Or someone.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Caught out by my bad ways

Our IT guys are scheduled for an audit in a few weeks. A few months ago they sent out e-mail asking us to install safeguard easy on our machines in line with the requirements of the global IT security policy. I refused to install the software. Me thinks anything that encrypts your hard disk must slow down your machine and as it is I leave the office later than I should and don't need anything to keep me here longer. Last week one of the IT managers went round with a list of all the guys who have not installed the damn thing. I am still wondering how he knew. Is there some remote administration tool that lets one know s/w that is installed or not installed on all machines on the network? If there is how does one cheat it. He stood by my desk as I installed the s/w but was happy for me to restart my machine later to complete the installation.

Since then, I only rebooted the machine this morning and then all hell broke loose. Safeguard easy started installing and the machine got slow. I was not going to have any of that none sense so I went to task manager and tried to kill it. It refused to die so I rebooted my machine and then my machine hang. I went in for a meeting and found safeguard easy had started reinstalling and then hang at 22%. That was 10 am. I have done nothing all day. Without my machine (not to be mistaken with any machine) I am like a mat driver without a mat, a doctor without a hospital, a judge without a bench, a plumber without a wrench, a radio presenter without a mic. The IT support guys have been looking at my machine since morning and threatening to give me a new hard disk.

Only problem with a new hard disk is that I will have to recreate a lot of stuff. I have half written reports, half written proposals, lots of useful links stored in my IE favourites folder, 6 years worth of reference documents that I cant remember where I downloaded it from some of the sites might even have closed down, Mercurial mix etc The IT guys have asked me if I usually backup my stuff on the network as is required by company policy or external hard disk as most people usually do. I have never been bothered to back up stuff and the only external storage device I own is a 128mb flash disk.

In the past I have joked that if I ever lost my machine I would resign and not serve notice. I might just get my wish.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Could this finally be it?

So bananas went to the hospital yesterday. Morning hours, said she was in pain, abdominal and all. We talked over the phone and then later she says she has to be admitted and undergo some minor surgery. I guess most fellas would rush to be by her side and all. I'm broke. Got some airtime thanks to a friend of mine who knows himself. So I used the resources I had and kept in touch. Hustled a few bob with all the intentions of visiting her the next day. Today that is.
She calls bright and early, 8.00 am for us non-working folks is way bright and early. Asks if I shall be visiting and I say, sure, I'll be there. She hangs up. I try and catch up on my sleep. Just another hour I think. Two hours later a phone call. Bananas. Where you at? In the house. What are you still doing in the house? What time are you coming? I was still sleeping! Then keep sleeping she says.

Now that I've gotten out of seeing her in the hospital, I wonder if this is it. I'll finally get out of it completely. Last time I got away, as you all know, I ended up going back. It got cold. All her fault. I say, if she shut that door firmly, I'd never have gotten back in. So you think this time I've pissed her off proper she won't be opening that door? I hope so. Doubt it. Pray so.

Sunrise, sunset.

Thursday, July 23, 2009


Just another testing, one two thing. More later.