copeid from uncyclopedia (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Girls)

Preceeded by such methods as fire and cold food, Girls are used in restaurants and homes around the world.
While some people advocate that the place for girls is in the kitchen (where they are most useful), others suggest that keeping your girl outside cuts down on clean up and reduces the overall hassle associated with owning and maintaining a girl.

Girls are good for preparing a lad a fine dinner
Girls were first discovered by Adam cooking apples beneath the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil . Due to their ability to radiate heat, girls were found to be useful in the kitchen and in bed. However, men became dissatisfied with the the primitive ver BETA girl 1.00 and its limited functionality. Girl 2.0 models are now created in laboratories in southern Spain. In order to accommodate their new functionality they have been designed to run on more energy-rich fuels, most notably money and credit cards.
Customer model girls used in the home are typically fuelled by either charcoal or propane. Commercial girls are typically fuelled by either propane or liquefied natural gas. Food cooked with propane girls tends to be less tasty, but is significantly faster to heat and prepare. As of first quarter 2005, General Electrics has introduced a new hybrid model, which is far safer for the environment. However, most users prefer the older models, as they are widely considered "fskin' hawt" in contrast to the newer models.
Prominent girl manufacturers include Weber and Coleman, Ford, Kikkoman, Kaiser Permanente, Panasonic, and George Foreman. Chainsaw Jack, former CEO of Sunbeam, lost his job for improperly booking sales of his girls to distribution channels.