Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Cash & carry

Was at the banking hall the other day (i hate the banking halls) when some middle age lady was thrust in front of me by the guard just as i was getting to the counter. From the look of things she was a regular client. I almost protested but i just let it slide. when she got to the counter she removed the biggest pile of cash i've seen in a long time. It always surprises me how much stuff the female hand bag can carry bila looking cumbersome. The teller had to look for a colleague to help count & of course ensure its not that fake cash we have been seeing on tv. After an eternity of counting, running it through the cash machine & counting by hand -the guy almost had his finger print rubbed off! Total came to 980,500/-. I also some how got to see her name by craning my neck a bit. I dont have devil-ish tendencies but i followed her from the bank just to see what she drives (armoured personnel carrier??) or if she walks with body guards. She entered a kawa car, no body guards. No trailing car. As i said i dont have any devil-ish tendencies, i googled her name just to see who she is, what she does, where she stays etc. Aren't people afraid of carrying such amounts on them? i'd shit on myself if i had to carry such cash on a regular basis.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Unbusy all day ....

This is how I honed my cartoon drawing skills.
You can't invent a better way to waste a guy's skills, really.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


Ever made a mistake of calling your gal the other gals name, yani u get a statement like 'what did u call me?'Can also happen with texts where you send claire a text meant for mary. Thats why theoretically i believe in one night stands coz she never lingers long enough for you to know her name. The trouble with having several chicks who probably you meet quite often is always keeping in mind her name even when talking in your sleep!
To avoid such moments, i use one name for all. Brilliant dont u think? I call all of them 'honey'. No more trying to constantly remind myself i'm no lomger with claire but with mary. Gladly none of them says 'say my name' while in bed coz thats when a guy is a real imbecile. Nameless they shall remain.

Hunter hunted

I had an occassion some wks ago, the one where you are suppossed to rejoice at adding an extra year to your miserable life. I had thought valentine was a tricky affair especially with 3 chicks waiting for their time slice. I had not reckoned it would be more difficult to do something considering they all know my bday & wanted to somehow hook up. Some had made prior arrangements to be on the said day while another was asking what type of cake i wanted. Even the one who knew i hav a chick was somehow making plans for my day. evasive manouvering had to be employed, lies had to be manufactured, phones had to be on silent. I now know why streetwise (chick-wise) guys dont tell chicks their bday date coz the hunter easily turns to be the hunted

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Looking for Mrs Samborera

I've had this feeling recently, that things have changed somehow. That people are getting into another phase of life. Another phase after primo, seco, campus, work. The phase of having babies or getting married. Both even for some. Perhaps this is it.

I certainly missed that memo. But it's apparently time to get my mind into this new phase. Where people buy cars and houses and things. Can't live the way I am forever? I'm so clueless, I was making statements like if 0.5 had indeed bought a car, then I would get married. No prizes for guessing who's laughing now. Time to start putting myself out there.

Interview number 1

Not sure why I'm numbering. It's the first time in four years. So.

Anyway. I'd moved my mind to other things. So when the call came, it had that out of the blue feel to it. What to wear. I'd previously thought of attending interviews in t-shirt and jeans. But there is no clean pair of jeans in sight, and it's too late to start washing. It's 4:30pm. Probably wouldn't dry anyway with the current weather. So it's got to be a suit. No tie. Decent enough compromise. Next day. Apparently the coat has a tendency of munging the shirt if you don't have a tie on. Oh well. I tried.

A couple of hours later and the IT manager ushers us [we're several by now] to some room. First thing that catches my eye is the laptops. I haven't written .NET code in like a year. Terror starts to creep in. After a small pep talk, the guy unleashes some stuff from some folder. No. Surely not. Swiftly followed by the distribution of "writing materials". It's going to be a written exam. Now I'm not so sure if those laptops were such a bad thing. At least there's intellisense.

First question. Looked like what is a database. Immediately, and for some unknown reason, my mind starts thinking about B-trees. But, obviously, my mind was getting ahead of itself. The question read "explain a database to a young child". You certainly aren't going to have a discussion about B-trees with any sort of child. You actually don't want to be having such a conversation with anyone. I look around and start getting this twilight zone feeling. Am I really here. What am I doing here.

Among the other gems prepared for us... "what is the reading on the following spring balance". The brave new world of interviewing.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Funny guy

If a chic says you're funny, what does she really mean. There are loads of naturally and genuinely funny guys. Kamikaze and such. Me. Not so much.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

Getting out of the friend zone

There are few things worse than finding yourself in the friend zone. Except perhaps having a gangrenous leg sawn off without anaesthetic.

aJamaa carried me along to one of these get together things that have nyama as a central agenda. Looking around, I couldn't help but think of some of the gals there as interesting. OK. So perhaps I like some of them. But I'm so far in the friend zone with these ones that any kind of possibilities can't even be considered. I'm like a friend of a friend of an acquaintance. And the gals probably think that I only look at them in that way.

The sad thing about this friend business is that you end up doing all sorts of counterintuitive things. Instead of saying "I think you're hot", you go on and on about useless things like "how was your day". Then again if you escape the alcatraz that is the friend zone, you're likely to land in the cold and treacherous waters of complicated.


So I've been jobless for a couple of months. Truth be told, I don't really know what I want to do. I've had some vague ideas, but nothing really concrete. Someone asked me a couple of weeks back what I had in mind about career. It took me by surprise that question. In all the time I've had to think about my life, and all sorts of other stuff, I've never once thought of career. What I want to be doing 5, 10, 20 years from now.

I've never been able to think about more than the present. The future for me was always some hazy, mysterious thing. Deep space. And as a result, it happened by default. I never consciously picked it. Career? I don't know. OK. I was forced to think about it that day, and coupled with some other stuff, some ideas have come to mind. The other stuff being something I always thought happened to other people.

I never understood this word, overqualified. Used to hear it a lot a long time ago but it didn't make sense to me. I didn't have a masters degree so it was never going to apply to me anyway. But a couple of weeks ago, I got a reality check. I got word that these particular HR guys were concerned. They feared that I was overqualified and a flight risk. I consider myself [now] to be a high risk employee, and I'd think the latter about myself if I was looking at my CV. The former, however, had never crossed my mind. If I didn't know someone who worked at this place to tell me what the folks in charge of hiring were thinking, I probably would never have considered it. And if I can't do this job, I'm now not sure what job I can do.

I've seen a lot of ads. I like the idea of working for the county council of maragua, but there are probably other people who should be getting those jobs. There are an inordinate amount of people looking for IT managers. But I neither have a CCNA qualification, or know what those initials stand for. What else. If I can't get into places where I thought I would be of best use, where people need to know unmaintainable languages, or fear them and the prospects of working 12 hour days, and I'm over or under qualified for the rest of the stuff, it's time for plan C.

When I started off on my current path, it was an outcome I considered. An outsider, but on the list all the same. We'll see how it goes.

Friday, March 05, 2010

Boss killer

I have this fool for a boss, no fault of his own, must have banged his head repeatedly on a mirror thinking he's head butting some idiot in front of him. Since he was not to concerned about the weighty issues i had brought up i went above his empty head to his boss. Ala! guy was a smartly dressed fool! Are like most bosses airheads??? i'm a small time supervisor ( i cant use the word boss) & i dont think i'm irritating, illogical, promises-spewing, doing-nothing, busy-looking, secretary-flirting, slave-driving kind of a guy.
Those of you who are bosses, do guys under you respect you or are looking for an opportunity to run you over or poison your tea? Whats the worst that a junior employee has done to you? Any death threats? have your tires been slashed? Any anthrax in the mail?
My boss sometimes is really working hard to make me a boss-killer.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

pay back

So u meet this hot chick who jumps your bone(s) to high heaven & while the 'thing/fling' is still hot she borrows some cash. Not in the kawa way where she either calls to ask 4 the loan or asks to meet u to explain her need 4 the said loan. Its asked right after some mind blowing performance, while your blood has not fully returned to your brain, & since this is when u are most vulnerable (remember samson & delilah??) u promise that u will sort her out. As the blood continues to fill up in the bigger head u realise your folly & start formulating some storo but just b4 u open your mouth u hear her saying stuff like 'u r so sweet, u r so kind, u r better than my boyfriend, u r a lifesaver etc. How do u disappoint someone like that? So i send her a portion (large) of my salo.
The problem is the time she was to pay it back has elapsed & i need the cash, how do ask 4 it esp coz things are still steamy? Do i take it like i have 'paid' her 4 a job ( dont add a b-word) well done? Didn't she feel like a ho when she asked 4 a huge favour that soon after the said deed? Or is she a ho? I never likd paying ho's anyway. I'm sure i'd feel like a man-ho if i asked & was given a windfall right after some hanky panky. The way its going i'l most likely be asked to 'top up' the loan than be paid back. I hope blood will b in the right head nxt time i'm asked. Damn good p***y!