Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Bureaucracy and IT circles

Gone to meetings lately. An items that was on Minutes in Jan will be there every meeting for 4 years with the status " Awaiting feedback".

Look at this scenario:

A user reports a problem with the mouse. There are 3 teams that can fix the problem:
Business support will tell you drivers are not been detected. Infrastructure will maintain the cables,
help desks will report the problem, Engineering will fix the ball or the optical where that applies.

First he reported to ther BSS Team. That guy sits on it. Does nothing. "There's no call on the help desk" he will tell you. Arguing with hiom wont help. You give up and raise the call 2 wks later to avoid loss of business and the embarassment of not following procedures.

When HelpDesk reports(re-allocates the call) to Business Support(BSS), a guy in BSS replies wanting more clarification. The mail is CC'd to the 2 affected bosses. Then help desk will write a mail to the user (that guy's computer my not be working hence not be able to give feedback). The issue won't be resolved until the user requests a meeting with IT. IT says they
are still waiting feedback. The end user is now to blame. The users boss now circulates a mail to the whole of his team to promptly reply to Help desk enquiries.

So he gives feedback. Including event logs, pictures, screen captures (a screen without a mouse).The infrastructure team has to deliver a new cable. They raise it with procurement and await feedback.
Any questions to IT about the issue wil be swiftly replied: "we're waiting for Procurement to give a cable". 3 weeks pass and the finally cable comes. Yebo! this should be it. The managers are happy.
Reviews should be okay at the end of the year. all smiles.
Its fixed but the mouse doesn't work. The call is now redirected to business support to advise and CC'd to the user, the BSS manager and IT director.
This calls for quick reponse. They ask engineering to investigate on their part. The Call is changed to status "Researching".

3 months pass and no feedback. The IT director calls a meeting to resolve this. the Engineering manager reports "We have escalated to the Vendors and are still awaiting feedback" No-one can be put to task. he asks the guys who delivered the mouse to come and clean it. We are still waiting for their feedback.

Saturday, October 20, 2007


I thought I'd missed it. Then what do I see in the papers. Bourne. Again. I thought it had already come to the big screan and gone. I'll not miss it this time.

That's the way it is

All the tribute music reminded me of the other time I experienced something similiar. Always saddens me. Always. Always?

That's the way it is.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

A 1,000 for fuel, 5,000 to die while driving drunk

The good police commissioner has done it to drivers again - those who like to drink and drive - poor bastards. The infamous Alcoblow should be back in the hands of our greedy police officers in a month or two. The owners of places like Buffet Park, K2, K1 are one step away from a heart attack because business will SHUT DOWN. If you frequent Carnivore, you will remember the police used to set base at the u-turn next to Uchumi - and flag down every car entering the road from the Carnivore side.

A fool and his money would soon be parted because all you need is to smell a glass of beer and the alcoblow device would light up like a Christmas tree. "Lete funguo, lete funguo kijana.....". It is at this point that you start addressing the miserable officer like you would an army general or president of a small country...and you would get cleaned out.

They put the fine at 10,000 shillings. Say it with me. 10,000! That is if I heard the rumor right. That means if the cops nab you nothing short of 5,000 as a bribe will cut it. I am absolutely sure no one will want to spend something like 5,000 on drinks and roasted meat, another 1,000 on fuel and then want to hand over another cool 5,000 to a police officer. And there some additional risks too, like for instance losing your driver's licence. You know how the police work; They like to make a public example of a clueless bloke every once in a while.

So what will happen? People will have to hire taxis to rave in these upmarket places. Or get designated drivers. Messy and complicated arrangements. Who likes to sip Dasani as the boys hit that Tusker and get cosy with equally inebriated girls? However, most people will just party at the locals. And that is bad news for pub owners in town, or Hurlingham, or any other place that is largely accessed by car. Owners will have to make arrangements with cops. For instance, the Carnivore establishment could pay a blanket fee for police not to set up checks along Langata road. Something has to give. I am sure there are some police who are already seeing windfalls. They will be sadly disappointed; Just like the City Council brothers. Not a single person smokes in public these days. People will device circuitous routes to avoid capture. Those who are not that imaginative will simply drink in places where they don't need to drive.

Its all good I guess. There will be less drunk drivers out there. That means the chances of getting run over will reduce. In any case, nothing changes for me. I don't have a car.

Friday, October 12, 2007


Its Friday.
Fridays (and Saturdays) is Rhumba day at the office. I get to blast songs from ago to all and sundry who are listening at the office. My PC came to be the sort of de-facto music source around here. I think I've mentioned this before. Oh yeah. And I think the last time I was lamenting some new entrant at the office, busy causing interference with his crappy music taking up some of my bandwidth. Well, the guy isn't here anymore.

Ha! Not that I had anything to do with it. Or I could have claimed to have taken care of the bugger and none of you would have been the wiser.

Anyway. I'm listening to some Congolese music right now. Was listening to one called Kamikaze a minute ago. Some of you can guess I love that song. And many others.

Today happens to be the exact date of the death of the King of Afro Music. The one and only Franco. Amazing music. I won't go on about his exploits. There are entire websites dedicated to that.

Have a nice Rhumba day and weekend. Play some Franco.

Smokers with mobile phones

I really don't have anything to say. I'm sitting here in the office contemplating suicide (will wait to get home before I do it). I'm too broke for words. Something tells me its all my fault. Who cares right now? I'm mighty broke.

Been surfing the net all day (MSN Cars and Wikipedia), adding a splash of actual work here and there to this barren life of mine (keep up appearances; don't want to tip guys off on my impending suicide).

On a completely different angle - not that I need to explain myself - Mr. S once provided some statistic about more accidents being caused by drivers on their phones. Or was it drivers who were smoking? Anyways, some day this month, or the last - can't quite remember much nowadays - I was in the gents, here at the office. Had eaten githeri aka beans, so you can surmise...moving swiftly ahead. I usually enjoy a smoke during or precluding the events in the gents. I have heard and sometimes experienced that smoking makes things happen faster during the aforementioned events. Perhaps its the fact that your body is being poisoned. Just a guess. At some point, my phone rang. I am not the most dexterous of persons, I'll hasten to point out, but I tend to think that I can handle two things at the same time. Wasn't I in shock when I almost put my cigarette to ear! I was almost sucking on my phone. Well, it got me thinking - after I got over the shock and answered the phone (which is another thing...answering phones while in the crapper. Never gotten used to it - not that I get that many phone calls, although Coconuts has taken it as a favorite pastime to call every other hour. Drives me nuts!!). Like I said, it got me thinking. Just a small thought. Lasted almost all of 2 seconds. What if I was driving? I don't have a car. Which is why this question might sound ludicrous to all you driving chimneys attached to your mobile phones.

Don't smoke and drive. So that you have a free hand when your phone rings. Unless you have them blue tooth thingies which always look weird to me. Some thing flashing in my ear and I'm not Jack Bauer.

End of thought.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Dont take chances. the law is an (_x_)

I fished out an old funny forward in my mail. sent just after the passing of the sexual offenses bill.

If you are just about to have sex, don't take chances, get your chic to sign an agreement to cushion you against punitive measures in the Sexual Offenses Act. Below print and use appropriately-(GNU license free)

i ___________________________ hereinafter referred to the screwee to solemnly swear before the man about to have s*x with me (hereinafter referred to as the screwer):

  1. That i am not under influence of any alcohol, drug, coercion or undue influence
  2. That am of age and understand the process
  3. That i consented to the act about to be performed on me by the screwer
  4. That i understand the need for protection and will not hold the screwer accountable for any risks including children as a result of this process
  5. That i am not a prostitute and the screwer is not a male prostitute
  6. That given another chance i would offer myself for the same again

Screwee__________________________ Date________________________

Monday, October 08, 2007

of selfish, insecure workmates

my monday is getting mad.
A workmate of mine has been escalating issues to consultants without even
asking me. Today i was investigating a ka-small problem, came up with the solution, called my colleague to explain my findings only to be told . It's okay- we escalated this last week. the consultants are working on a solution.
(who are 'we'? i thought i do this work? who did this guy talk to?)
How do you involve consultants in such a petty issue.
Kwanza this guy had changed all system passwords without even telling me. and its my work. He is playing petty over almost any issue that comes up. when i asked him, he takes like 5 minutes pretending to be looking for them.
Man, i hate to work with guys who want to shine anyhow, anyway even if it costs my company money.
Surely i will embarrass this dude infront of the same bosses he wants to please.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Of selfishness and a dearth of men

It was a couple of weeks back now, that it hit me. Well, it had hit me before, but as with all epiphanies, the coming together of everything has a particularly profound effect.

So I got dragged to one of these Afro-fusion thingies at Alliance Francaise. A quite decent affair, and something different for a Friday evening. And plenty of lovely ladies. But I'll try not to get ahead of myself. Ended up meeting a couple of guys I knew. I'm sure they were as surprised to see me there as I was to see them. At some point I got chatting to one of these long lost friends. Typical conversation tu; how he'd really love to be a farmer. The liberation of just getting on his bike [the fuel powered kind], ride to nowhere, pitch a tent and camp out. I envy the guy. In the middle of all the reflection, he made another observation. That a whole bunch of women there were looking for a man. I don't exactly have a trained eye at identifying man hunters, but a look around made me think he was probably right. Women just about outnumbering men, some in groups of twos or threes, with guys apparently taking in the performances, and the likes of the two of us engrossed in conversations about [mid] life. I've known for a while that there are a lot of lonely people in this town. And the globe. It's the only explanation I could come up with for all those hook-up sites. A sad state of affairs.

I used to object vehemently at the claim that there are no good men. Until I got tired of making the same arguements and started responding to that phrase with an indifferent look back at the proponent. What a good man is is a mystery as great as the all the other great ones. But there may actually be a dearth of any kind of [interested] men. On most all [few] nights out it hits me how many women there are around. Beauties. It's also been interesting to observe the number of guys who are just content to sit and have their drink, or football, or both, without paying [undue] attention to the ladies. Really unfortunate. My heart bleeds when I see a lass dancing all by her lonesome. Like that chic at K2. Bleeds.

But apparently, by doing the running man as far as [potential] women are concerned, I'm not helping the situation. Indeed the word selfish has been thrown my way a couple of times. It's been a while since I put myself out there.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Fire Drills

Fire drills. Any organization that recognizes the risk of fires and other calamities have to keep testing their disaster preparedness thro drills as regular as they can. When no-ne is alerted its better.If it's repeated so often, guys just won't agree to be evacuated even if a real fire came.
So i have been seeing this chic for long, lets fire drill this thing. We are walking on a stretch of abandoned structures, it's mid week and lets go

'nanii, i don't know how to tell you this, but it's just not working for me, Don't be worried: it's not for anaa chic. And you will always be special to me.'

She wants me to tell her why.She sobs and her voice is getting heavy by the minute. No response from me in her expected format.Just a
'You will know why and you will thank me, for now just understand that for the good of both of us, we have to part ways. Anyway you can always be calling me-but its basically not happening for us.'

Sweet turn of events: She stops sobbing, pays my bus fare back to tao and we leave each other in peace.
2 days later, i am getting an SMS

It's not easy for one to share their weaknesses, i just want to know if you were serious abt what you said abt us. i want u 2 know i lve u.and u are the best that happened in my life. pls take me back

Man this is deep! i decide not to take this far and just reply.
Hahaa Got Ya!. a smiley.

and 2 minutes am getting anaa message

To tell you the truth, the thot of losing u scares me stiff.
Pliz dont ever do that to me again

------end of drill


  1. Someone thinks we got something going
  2. That someone is serious
  3. She's in love with a joke
  4. Woe unto her if she continues to take me seriously
  5. Morale wise, That made me feel good
  6. But am worried for this beauty.
  7. May she be able to take it when the drill turns real someday.
  8. Meanwhile, she got some days with the joke

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

sweet naps

i ran away from the office at 11 am yesterday. To take a nap.
i was supposed to come back at 2, but the nap was just so sweet. so original.
There was real danger that i could be discovered and sent a warning letter.
and speaking of warning letters, i saw one from HR to a friend reading " Hi ms. X, .........................In view of misconduct aforementioned, would you explain why disciplinary measures should not be taken against you?".
Not even such real fears could get into the way of my i slept till 6. left the coat in the office. Today morningi had to wear another coat-coz it was cold.
Amazingly no-one asks( i mean no one that matters).