Polls

Interesting things those. Interesting how the guy who's shown as being behind somehow tries to discredit them while the same guy if shown ahead would indicate how they are a vindication of reality. I've heard at least 5 Obama songs on radio, including one that goes "Barack Obama ni jaluo...". If that were a poll of sorts, there'd only be one winner of that upcoming election. Haven't heard any McCain songs. Wonder what they'd be like. Country music perhaps. "Real America" music.

Doesn't really matter who wins. Half the country won't like the guy. Why anyone would want such a job is a mystery. Teachers go on strike, police are poorly paid, guys decide to kill each other in Mandera. All your fault. One guy asked if an honest guy can really win an election. Say it like it is, I don't have all the answers kind of stuff. The guy who was answering did the politically correct thing, and replied with an emphatic "Yes!". I wish. I guess we live in societies where we have to have leaders, and other guys to spend our taxes. And I guess there are guys who really believe they can better things if they get political power. And some do better than others. I decided long ago that that wasn't the route for me. If I really want to change the world, I'll do cancer research or something.

Third time

The first time was novel. I guess that's an intrinsic characteristic of firsts. Quite distressing actually and I did falter. The second time was even more distressing. Same script different shooting location. I was convinced, like the first time, that it was something I needed to do. Really. But I faltered again. Couldn't say No. Or No thanks.

So it's come down to this. The third time. No adrenalin this time, and nowhere nearly as distressing. Even though I had so much more to lose than the previous times. I tried to explain it to someone as a sabbatical but they indicated that I was too young to be doing that kind of thing. So I'll call it rehab. One year's worth. I've always insisted that I have fundamental issues which I need to address. And that's my main, broad idea. Either I find something to do that isn't crap, or [seeing as everything is crap], sort my head out and find a way to cope and embrace all the crap that comes my way. It amazes me how everyone complains about their job.

Been at home for 2 weeks now. Have had to answer that dreaded question "What are you up to?" quite a few times. Not once have I been brave enough to say the truth. "Nothing". Too scared that people will think [correctly perhaps] that I'm crazy. Or avoiding having to answer the inevitable follow up questions, and alleviate the disbelief that comes with resigning from my job. My boss was telling me that I had a really nice path out ahead of me. Perhaps. But. This is something I wanted to do 2 years ago. Take a step [or many] back and pause before going on.

HELB free

So I was thinking about liabilities I have, and how it would be a good idea to clear them. I only remembered it cause of looking at some payslip. I did the mental adjustment that comes with the anticipation of forking out a substantial amount of money. It's not like I've been keeping tabs with how my repayment has been going but I was loaned a significant amount of money during my college years. And I'm probably the only one who got HELB money who didn't graduate with a TV, DVD and music system. Not sure where all that money went to actually since I didn't buy a single thing. Not a one. And it's not like I used eat ugali kuku everyday, or drink like mad. And I used to get cash every week from the folks. How did other guys afford everything. Where did all of my money go.

Anyway. I checked out their website to confirm how much I owed but there was a bug of some sort. My login was invalid apparently. So I had to arrange a trip to their offices. I get directed to some guy who prints out a statement for me. "And why did the website not acknowledge me?", I ask as an aside. Aah. That. The server has a problem. I empathize. I think servers get unfairly blamed for a whole load of things. Ultimate scapegoat. Can't defend itself. Turn to page 2 to see what my balance is. Glee. Yes. An odd 300 bob. Could hardly believe it. Would have jumped out of the seat and done the dance of joy right there. I guess small amounts over a period of time do make a difference. It's one of those things you don't think about. Just another deduction in the payslip. No more. I'm HELB free.