Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Have my cake and eat it

I thought that would be as good a title for this post as any.

So I slipped on a banana the other day. Actually the other year. I went ahead and moved in with Bananas. I thought, hey, I can keep getting some, and at some point I'll just bounce. It's been a year and a half now.

In that time, I've left and gone back a couple of times. Then she went and did it. She got knocked up. Apparently I had something to do with it. I can play along, but at some point that DNA thing will have to factor in.

Anyways, going by the title, here is where we get into a pickle (what does that mean really?). I want out. I so want out. And all I keep hearing when I raise this issue (with myself and a few people), is that I'm just talking. I deserve that. Look at the banana-kamikaze track record.

Now, this brings up all sorts of feelings. One, I don't want to be a crappy guy and walk out when the ripe banana is about to burst open (3 or so months to go). Another, I don't want to look like I don't have the stomach for doing what I say, all I do is rant as soon as I get high. Three, I don't want to have to throttle someone in the middle of the night (now or in some future where it is either that or I walk in front of a moving truck / bus / high speed subaru).

So it gets to that point right now that I want out. And I want to go for it. How does that even reflect in the title? It doesn't does it? I want bananas to accept the fact that she trapped me with this crap, and she should just go ahead and let me run for the hills, and, out of her good nature, not sue me for things like child support and not send any goons for my kneecaps.

Two fruits lined up. Damn straight they are part of the reason I want to take off. Can't wait to take off. No name for the latest, but I think strawberry should do it for the first. Just need to do the follow-ups for both.

More later.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man up foo, time to pay the piper !
Next time wrap it up.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010 6:30:00 AM  
Blogger Dede said...

I dont know what fruit can compete with that banana addiction u have. If the previous assorted fruits couldnt pull you away then, i dont think any will. you have that affliction/disease/mildew that any guy doesnt want to catch, the one where there's a chick u keep running back to in times of drought & u cant help yourself. I'm still to figure out the cure.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010 11:45:00 AM  
Blogger aJamaa said...

Should I stay or should I go now
Should I stay or should I go now
If I go there will be trouble
And if I stay it will be double
So come and let me know....

Reading your post the chorus to the song 'Should I stay or Should I go' kept playing in my head

Wednesday, June 16, 2010 2:07:00 PM  
Blogger Kamikaze said...

I'm going for trouble. Don't want double.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010 2:50:00 PM  
Blogger 0.5 said...

I don't see why you can't leave and stay at the same time. What do I mean? Just keep a house somewhere (where she doesn't know). If things get annoying, or even for no reason at all, retreat there and knock them Tuskers down un-inhibited, watch DVDs back to back, have sex with other women.

Then trudge back every now and then, buy two or three tomatoes as groceries (grin), duck the head in till the din gets intolerable. I call it the 'pressure relief valve'. Repeat till you are ready to make your move (or fate backs you into a corner). You never know, you may decide the banana is just the fruit the doctor ordered.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010 4:29:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

CastratioN souNds liKe a faiR JusTiCe
yoU shouLd noT brEEd

Thursday, June 17, 2010 7:05:00 AM  

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