Thursday, December 21, 2006

A$$ 4 Days

Wednesday night. Left the office way past normal hours (sorry Mr. S, your
hours stopped being normal ages ago, so you can't relate). Anyways, 7.30 or
so, I leave the office, heading into tao. aJamaa is already at Veranda, beer
number 2 or so. 0.5 is making tracks towards the same meet. My wallet is
making resounding echoes, but a guy is going to get some liquor, all else is
secondary. 8.15, I'm in the building. Shake a few hands and finally get to
The Introverts Table. The guys are easy nothing much, unwinding. The usual
discussions take place, work sucks, Liverpool's are number 3, Arsenal are
just hopeless, Hate that Drogba dude, women are the devil incarnate, yes
that's why we can't stay away. aJamaa gives some story I can't elaborate on,
something about junk food and sex.

Anyways, the night is going okay. The place is abit quiet though. aJamaa is
feeling the effects and there is no designated driver. He still exudes some
calmness that makes us thinking he is jiving. The guy says if he has one
more pint, he won't be able to go anywhere, all in the same even tone he
always uses. He excuses himself. 0.5 and I keep it moving. We change seats -
had spotted some 4 females alone at a table somewhere. We move closer. It
soon dawns on us that all we've done is find more comfortable seats. I mean,
two women against one guy is hard enough. 4 against two is a multiple of the
odds, not necessarily twice as hard, maybe 4 times. Anyways, we sit back,
consume some more liquor and watch some 4 girls giggle about. We have had
enough, switch pubs.

Tropez. Ahhh yess. This is more like it. A$$ all over the place. This place
does things to a guys mood. Its all jovial now. Oh is it jovial. Off the bat
we are accosted by some female who claims to be from Coast, and she is happy
to meet some good guys. How do you know we are good guys? She says she can
just tell. There must have been alot of good guys in the place cause she was
all over the place. Anyways, more liquor, some guys doing their Karaoke
thing. We are seated next to some dude I am informed is probably gay. He
keeps asking for cigarettes. At some point he is informed not to make it a
habit. I mean, ask for one cigarette, don't expect to smoke my entire pack.
Crazy. Anyways, A$$!! I tell you. 0.5 and I are agreed, a woman in a skirt
(no matter the length) is just a great turn on. Now if the said woman is in
a white skirt, the kind with an uneven length - know them? they must have a
name - like some trapezium shape or something. Yeah, white trapezium skirt,
an A$$ for days, above average height (she was actually taller than most
guys in there), plus music video dance moves - dancing all of six feet in
front of you. That's why clubs were invented. A guy to have his drink
watching all that. Then Maureen shows up. Well, she says that's her name.
Anyways, I offer her a seat, she declines, she will sit later she says.
Fine. She stands some distance away. I am pulling the eyes thing. Okay fine,
I'm staring. 0.5 is also staring at someone behind me - says she looks like
some long lost love of his. Drink, stare. Drink, stare. Okay, have to go to
the gents. Pass near her, smile, can't stop now. Come back and ask 4 a
number. Get the number, go back to my seat. The day is already working fine.
Only one thing can top it off. And just to kill that thought, that one thing
didn't happen. Anyways, she comes over later on. We have a few laughs. Its
time to leave. She calls her cab guy (I think). We head off towards Hilton,
got to get home.

We have hardly done 20 steps, still rueing my "loss", Lo and Behold! More
A$$. And wait, they are two of them. Lets count. 0.5 and Kamikaze. Yes!
Perfect match. There go two insane men hastening their strides, almost
breaking into a run. Have to get to them! Now obviously, we don't know what
we are going to tell them once we catch up with them. Now these women were
another crop of above average height. I felt like I was safe walking with
them. And said as much. Asked them if we'd tag along - these streets are
dangerous this time of the day (it was close to 4 already). A guy would feel
much better walking with women of your stature. Whatever they thought, they
must have figured we didn't look threatening enough - just some nice guys.
So we keep walking in tandem. Names are sought. Mary and Clara. Oh Clara.
That's some back you got there girl. They are looking for food. What do you
know? So are we! Numbers are being sought in earnest. I have set my sights
on Clara. She is not giving up anything. Says she doesn't have a phone. I
ask for a relatives number so that I can talk to her. She isn't impressed.
Ambassaduer. Cops. I hadn't even noticed them, then Mary goes like "Sh1t!".
0.5 and I are nonplussed. We ask what the problem is, the officer starts a
story about the lateness of the hour. You want ID? I inquire. He cuts his
story short, says yes. I am busy getting mine, Clara is fumbling around in
her bag, Mary just stands there, thinking if she stays still the cop wont
notice her. 0.5 gets his out first, hands it over. The cop must have already
written us off. He notices something on 0.5's ID, about where he was born.
Aaah, he worked somewhere near there. Now we are all friends. He sends us on
our way. Mary starts breathing again. She lost her ID 5 years ago she says.
Utter nonsense. We get to a fries joint, as we are waiting in line the
ladies make a quick purchase and quiet getaway. Snap! Another loss. We
finish up, head home.

Wednesday 20th - Happy Birthday Mr. Sam. You are old, sorry, one year older.

4 Comments:

Blogger 0.5 said...

Long lost love? Unbelievable. Anyways, that chic was blazing hot and the eye thing did not work. Moved out too fast before I guy could make a move,...but probably those two guys would have broken my jaw.

Thursday, December 21, 2006 2:23:00 PM  
Blogger aJamaa said...

Happy belated birthday Sam. It will all be fun and games until we hit 30 or maybe until we hit 40.

Thursday, December 21, 2006 5:35:00 PM  
Blogger aJamaa said...

Happy birthday Kamikaze. Kunyua beer

Thursday, December 21, 2006 5:36:00 PM  
Blogger Princess said...

Happy Belated B'day Sam. Your stories are so funny!!

Friday, December 22, 2006 9:59:00 PM  

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