Putting my money where my mouth is

During the course of the past couple of months, I have grown increasingly disillusioned and dissatisfied with my current job. Yesterday I had another aneurism bursting moment at the office. Later that evening, a sudden thought came to me. Just quit. Now. I've had such thoughts before. The difference this time was the strange sense of calmness that I had, and for once I wasn't afraid of what the future would hold. I then made the decision to quit at the end of the year, whether I'll have another job by then or not. Everyone I talked to when I initially had such feelings some time back told me not to quit then, not before I had another job to go to. I didn't. Yesterday, I decided to go against this advice and deal with whatever happens.

I mentioned my intentions to my mum today morning. She was horrified. Apparently, now we have to talk about it at length. I have an idea what she'll say and all I can hope for is that she doesn't recruit the rest of the family to give me a talking to. I've just told my shrink about this insane intention and he was as terrified as my mum. What happens if I don't get a job soon thereafter [I'm confident I would] then I'll probably end up depressed, broke, dependant on others and full of regret. Apparently his sister-in-law or something quit her job and wasn't able to get another one. She had to go to the US "by hook or crook" [to survive basically].

I've had to reverse last night's stance. I won't be handing in my resignation letter Monday morning. At least I've been galvanised once more to seek an alternative employer. The difference now is that I'm not as hell-bent on being a programmer.

In the meantime, I'll try to be the best employee I can to my current employer. I'll try not to get so mad and worked up when accused of all manner of things. When spoken to with disdain and treated with contempt. When not appreciated for anything I do. When denied permission to install software from any vendor other than Microsoft. When given unrealistic deadlines within which to finish pieces of work.