A fresh Kenyan.

Today morning I had the opportunity of sharing a matatu ride with one of the jolliest kenyans I have ever met. The man had an opinion about everything that walks, breathes or takes a form, physical or metaphysical. In a short span of time, he produced streetwise philosophy that you will not find in the inside of a university classroom. I will report in 'almost verbatim'. The soul and thrust of the statements are lost in translation.

The police: Never remove your cap when in a police station. There is no law written anywhere that says you should do this.
Refugees: Ahhhhh. So these guys have realised there is no more free food huh? Good. They should go home and cultivate those barren lands. Aren't we hardworking, we Kenyans? We feed two states, Kenya and Somalia.
Women drivers: [this one is hard to put in English, but roughly]: Hiiiiiiiiii, aren't women driving nowadays? We dereva, just check out that one, amekupita. Soon, we [men] shall have to look for another planet.
Unclassified: As I roamed in Runyenjes, I noticed that everyone is short. It must be the inhospitable, cold temperatures. Everyone tries to roll himself together, and thus start reducing in size.
Driver, step on it. I am late. Or are you going to let me have your driving job if I am fired?