Beyond the ring

I have been gathering some heuristics of some sort to help me keep off approaching married women. I tried looking at rings and the like and failed terribly. But all is not lost. When i am talking to you and you mention such words as " another family friend", or you portray measured dignified response to every dirty joke, or you look uneasy to subtle mentions of any remote $ex topic, however well covered or de-grossed( if such a word exist), or you don't display any dodgy hard to get normal (after 2 minutes ' hey i gonna go'), or you seem too concerned about the state of kids discipline in your area, or you look tired, or you don't attend to cellphone calls over evenings and weekends, then your wify behaviour has betrayed your married status. I RUN. Personal social responsibility and escape from potential Karma.
And if you know van persie and the team he plays for, or if you can only visit me on sunday morning then you have a boyfriend, even if you are not married. Just happens i don't mind there as much.
Else, don matter what you tell me, i ain't taking none of that. I am in