Friday, April 20, 2007

Murderous

I am generally an easy going guy (that's what I think so don't no one air
their sentiments about that). Level headed (most of the times). My fuse
should be about the size of my pinkie finger (short or long? Your guess.). I
let people do their thing if they let me do mine. Always take things with a
grain of salt and all that nonsense.

Anyways, right now, I want to Murder someone.

It has nothing to do with the fact that it's a Friday and I am flat broke
(flat like white women's behinds).
It has nothing to do with the fact that my boss (#1) acts like a b1tch. She
thinks this is a high school of sorts and she is the headmistress. "Hey,
Form 1, fix my printer, Take this there. Call for me Mrs. X from Form 3.
Make me 3 copies of this unbelievably huge booklet. Oh yeah, and where is
your report?". Nuts!!!

It is simply because there is this guy who sits next to me and has insisted
on competing for airtime with me. Before this guy checked in, I was the
master of the airwaves. Everyone respected that. I would play a variety of
music on the computer, changing daily. I have a collection. From slow stuff
on Monday, picking up the tempo, some hip hop on Wednesday, a lot of rap on
Thursday, climaxing with Rhumba on Friday, get everyone in a weekend like
mood. Nothing like that Congolese music.

This dude didn't even have a computer to play anything on. Then in my
infinite kindness, I organised for him to get one about a month ago. Things
went well. There was no competition. He didn't even have any music. I went
on leave and came back to find a lunatic in his place. With a collection as
limited as my salary.

Don't mistake me. I'd be fine if he played generally acceptable music.
Acceptable to me that is. But what does he do? He plays Reggae. On a
Monday!! Plays that boy band nonsense (backstreet? blue?). I tried turning
my music up a couple of times this last week. Muted his out good, he quit
joking around. Or so I thought. Then today. Today I'm incensed. Today I'm
thinking, screw the volume, break his neck! Know what the guy is playing? I
don't even know what it is called. Its that Kenyan music, no not the Genge
or Kapuka. That choir stuff. All dressed in blue, or some Khanga stuff. With
guys who force a really deep baritone (that's not bass, bass is that guy
from Boys to Men), and ladies with that balls-shrinking soprano. Ok, its not
a soprano, its just annoying. And intermittently, someone lets out, what do
you call them, vigelegele. Now this stuff you can't mute with a cranked up
computer playing Rhumba. They just stand out like a white guy in Ziwani.

Murder!!
Or maybe just sabotage his computer.
I need to plan well...for any of my choices.

4 Comments:

Blogger 0.5 said...

Remove the sound drivers and kill Direct X on his machine.

Should quiet him down some.

Friday, April 20, 2007 2:14:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hahahaha!!!!! .5 is so on point yaani, i was thinkin u disable the sound card - thats way to easy to figre out.
Go with .5's suggestion.

Friday, April 20, 2007 6:34:00 PM  
Blogger Princess said...

I'm in agreement!!

Saturday, April 28, 2007 2:03:00 AM  
Anonymous FatBrain said...

What u do is...
when he leaves his computer unlocked,
go search for all *.mp3
once the search is complete
press SHIFT + DELL by mistake
the say to your self ....opps
and smile all the way to your desk :)

Wednesday, May 02, 2007 10:33:00 PM  

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