Learning how to work

It hit me the other day, again, that I don't know how to work. Don't like to work. For the longest time, I didn't think of what I did as work. Or a job. I'd wake up at like 7:30, go to the office in T-shirt and jeans. Take off my shoes [there's no better feeling than walking around a carpeted office barefoot], put on my earphones, turn up the music, and write code. There was a time early into that job when I'd put my feet on my desk as I thought about a particular problem. And if it wasn't for some of my siblings expressing absolute horror that I could do such a thing, I'd have carried on. [My bosses probably just thought I was crazy, or mentally unstable or something, and didn't ever mention it] I used to have a spring in my step. Literally. I'd happily tell anyone who asked that I was a programmer. [I've never liked this developer business] It wasn't a job. Just something I did during the day. Never even used to look at my payslip.

Ok. I think I got sidetracked somewhere there. Anyway. Now, I have a job. Go to work. Work, where people relish writing loads of emails, and CCing half the known world. [I wonder how managers cope with all the mail they get] Back stabbing and finger pointing. Guys not doing stuff they're meant to then laying the blame for lack of progress at your desk. Accusations and counter-accusations. All manner of politics and sucking up. Thinly veiled spite and resentment. Numerous times I've looked around, shaking my head. So this is what working is like. And if I don't shape up, catch up or otherwise learn how things are [to be] done, I won't survive. I hope my leave application doesn't get cancelled this time. I need a break from all this.