Break-up Classes
I watched a certain movie, "Breaking all the rules" I think the title was.
Jamie Foxx, Morris Chestnut, that dude from Ally McBeal - the nerd lawyer,
always looked nervous but won all his cases - and finally, the wonderful,
beautiful, vivacious, lip-smacking, chocolate skinned, ebony-eyed,
come-feed-me, out-of-superlatives Gabrielle Union.
Oooooh. This post could quite easily change to one about that fine lady.
Anyways, the movie was about Jamie Foxx, known as Quincy Watson in the
movie, being dumped by some model on the day they were supposed to announce
their engagement...get the movie. Somewhere in there, Quincy wrote a book on
how to break up. Wish It was a real book. Is there such a book?
I have held one policy for breaking up all my life (which means I have
broken up around twice before I think). It is simply not calling, smsing,
visiting or acknowledging the dumpee's existence for a while. They get the
picture and it all fades away.
I have a problem. Have tried the same ploy with a certain lady, previously
acquainted to you via post on this blog. (Sam, how do you link to previous
posts? This is embarrassing). I was recently at the coast (three days away
from the said assailant, three blissful days) and took it as an opportunity
to start the Kamikaze D.U.M.P. Technique (D.U.M.P. is not some acronym, or
mnemonic of sorts, it just looks better). So there I am gleefully in the
coast soaking in the sun, sand, salty water (brine). Wait! Even before I got
to the coast, she is already asking why I haven't told her whether I am
there or not. How nice eh? Wachamoosits!! Let a brother be! Please! Just let
me relax without constantly updating you on what I am drinking, where we
are, when we leave, how I slept, is it fun? Aaaaah.
As you may gather, this method of mine is not working. Ignored her last
night. She sends two smses this morning asking why. I ignore those. She
calls me at the office, I pick up. She asks if I am mad at her. I foolishly
say no. Should have done the dumping there and then. "As a matter of fact, I
am mad at you. I want to end this." End what? she might ask. "This! This
madness! I am not in control of my life! I want out!!!" Something like that
folks?
Honestly, I need help on how to go about this. My plan of being passive
until she gets the message will not work. Anybody. Anything. And I know guys
will say the direct approach is best. Honestly, for me, that approach will
not work. It seems cruel, and I would probably change my mind while in the
process. Where, when, how? These are the things I want to know.
Think I should watch that movie again. Just to see Gabrielle Union again. Oh
yeah, and get some more tips from Quincy "Jamie Foxx" Watson.
posted by Kamikaze @ 13:15
3 Comments:
Me thinks the 'silent' mode works: The only difference is that some ladies choose to ignore the hint (and thus takes longer).
If the direct method is too unsavoury, there are other ways ........like the staged model method. This is where another lady shows and jumps all over you in her presence. Or she is leaving the den as the other one is entering..
Start a mad rant. Choose anything from her nagging to the way she is holding the glass. Feed it with fuel. Then burst out "I AM ######G DONE WITH YOU. ALL YOU BRING ME IS BLOODY MISERY". Walk out...
How about the responsible man? Create a "wife". Slosh 5 guinness so that you can talk with a straight face ala:
By the way, there is this girl who some stuff happened just after I finished form 4. She has run into some deep sh## and I must take her under my wing. I feel solely responsible and it has come to a point where what we have must sadly come to an end .....
Eaaasssy now. Just offering advice. By the way if any of you beloved bloggers have yourself in a bind like for example you are not too sure you want to marry her and wedding is like two weeks away,....talk to me. I have developed the getaway plan that can get you off the hook, even with only 12 hours remaining (without causing ill feeling or bad blood)
I agree that the NBM [Nil By Mouth] approach is the best and most humane. I use a variation named Don't ask, don't tell. I'm currently putting it to use with a chic who's declared that she loves me. It'll take a bit longer as 0.5 points out, but it will work. Good luck.
I'll use the infamous quote.. Are you man or mouse? A real man knows how to end a relationship respectfully even though it means the discomfort of feeling like an a88hole for dumping someone.
Post a Comment
<< Home