How do people survive dates?
I've always found dating rather tedious and have treated it with loads of apprehension. Case in point. Saturday evening. I'm lying in my bed listening to music. [I've been told to stop spending so much time in bed, but what is a guy to do if he doesn't read, watch telly or have a galfriend?]
Anyway. So I get a call from this chic I met some time back. She's in town. Can we meet. I do the math. Ok. That's crap. How are you meant to say no to a chic. I haven't acquired that skill yet, so I head to town. After the usual, how've you been, how was your week, how was your day routine, I'm stumped. What to say. I can see she's all psyched up, but I can't think of anything witty or funny to say. Or anything. The fact that Liverpool were playing may have had a bit to do with it. To make it worse, the times I happened to look at the TV screen across me, the other team was celebrating. [Apparently at some point they were 3-1 down to Luton!]
However, my concerns remain, even taking away the football. When I hang out with the handful of friends that I have, I don't have to be funny, or witty, or think about what I'm about to say 10 times before I say it. I don't have to worry about how she'll interpret what I've just said. I can watch football for 2 hours without engaging them in conversation.
I don't know how you guys do it. And those coffee type dates are the worst. At least at a pub there's music, and at the movies you can actually watch the movie. I'm slowly starting to see why I'm unattached, and why this will remain so for the foreseeable future.
posted by Samborera @ 13:46
7 Comments:
Well the best advice I've read about this was from 'how to win friends and influence people' and he said that the best way to be a good conversationalist is to be naturally curious/interested in other people. Its true that people like to talk about themselves so at a date you can look for things that intrigue you about her and ask her about them (PLEASE don't ask about her boobs or anything else like that!!) anyway, yes, so you can ask about stuff that you would really like to know about and conversation flows from there. That way too you don't look at the date with dread but you look at it as an opportunity to learn some new things about this wonderful human being and what makes them tick...
Allow me to disagree.
Ability to have a good conversation with women is one of those things that you either have or you don't. Its just like that famous "charm" thing.
There are some people who can strike a conversation with a stone.
Of course, with practice and dedication, you can develop it, but the question is: is the willpower and the patience there? Still, it does not beat the natural thing.
I have a loud cousin, at first, women dismiss him outright. Then they make the mistake of hearing him speak one sentence. And they can't stop laughing after that; He uses their earlier prejudice and it comes out funny. Even the cool and the collected can't seem to resist.
That's why the blog is called Introvertedself (grin). Jamaas (me especially) who are loud only behind masks ...
Here's how different we are. I'd probably find it a lot more interesting to ask about her boobs, rather than how many siblings she has. And I refuse to read a book so as to become a good conversationalist. There.
Well B..Da..y, the good thing with books is that in one day you can learn something that took an author a lifetime to learn. So for example if you are not very good with dates and genuinely want to improve in this area it would make sense to read the advice from someone that has dedicated many years to researching the best ways to do this, you will end up not making the mistakes he did e.t.c and i can honestly vouch for being interested in another people... it will make you a success with people.
How do people survive dates? Here is what some kids had to say:
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
( 1 ) Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
( 2 ) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
( 1 ) I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9
they say practice makes perfect so the more u work at it the better u become coz as u shy away frm dating it becomes harder so my advice keep dating
I don't know about getting 'better' the more you date, but it definitely gets harder the more you don't.
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