A rant

I haven't talked about work for ages on this blog, or any other place come to think of it. Inevitably, another rant is due.

I've been really struggling to come to work so far this week. I actually slept at 2am Sunday night, knowing full well I'll probably not be able to get up in time for work the next day. Yesterday, I was up till 1. This from a guy who needs like 10hrs of sleep every day. Given, my general mood has been a bit on the downer of late.

I feel I have learnt a lot of stuff here, and my learning here is over. I look around me and see people who are so content with themselves. Perhaps they earn six figures. Perhaps they have millions in stock and just come to work to avoid the boredom of staying at home. I've started wondering how people work at one place for 20 years. It's seems to me like guys are just glad to take a pay cheque home every month. A job should be more than that. Can be more than that.

The first time I decided to quit, I was confident that I'd be cool with whatever happened thereafter. I even managed to save some money for the first time since I started working, in anticipation of the cash flow problems to follow. Since that time, I found it difficult to limit my spending as I'd vowed to. I found it difficult to stop going out, as I needed to. Not being able to buy credit or buy stuff I wanted was also hard. No responses to job applications also woke me up to the fact that this may go on for quite a while.

As a colleague of mine keeps saying and pointed out again yesterday, we say all sorts of stuff but still come to work. "You don't have to work here", he correctly pointed out. So why am I still here. I have been convincing myself that it's because of financial obligations to my family. [Most people who I tell that I live with my mother [invariably chics], insist that I must be really irresponsible, with loads of cash to myself. Well, I am somewhat irresponsible]. Anyhow, as the cliche here goes, "there comes a time" [That's how everybody who leaves this place starts their final emails].

That time has come for me. I will leave my current employ at the beginning of March. That will make it 2 years having worked here. Nice round figure that I can tell people. I will give notice at the end of this month. I've recently woken up to the reality that I may not get another job in 3 months, 6 months, 2 years, a lifetime. I am ready to lie in the bed I make.