Cool? Try frozen nuts.

Westlands has more snotty people per square kilometre than any other place in the whole of Kenya. Residing in Westlands is seen as a mark of achievement by Nairobi people. So the snotty traipse all over the place, noses held high to breathe that good air. Which is all good. If you have purchased a house there, and drive a new Lexus RX300, by all means, feel sweet, rub it in.

I am at work on Saturday night (yeah I dont have much of a life), I feel hungry and walk to get a burger from Mobil on the run (the one next to The Mall). I find kids standing there, others in cars, playing loud music and sipping Alvaro. There are some chics wearing a variety of short skirts and low cut tops. Fancy jeans on the chaps. Jewellery. Oh..there were red rugby tops everywhere. What a bunch of idiots. When did drinking juice outside a petrol station supermarket become entertainment? WTF? Where is your imagination you bumbling morons? It is freezing outside. You can only stand outside in freezing cold, drinking cold juice just to impress if you have the IQ of a plant. Go to a club for crying out loud. Bribe the bouncers if there is an age limit. I doubt there is any bouncer who will refuse you entry if you wave Shs 200 in his face. Drink beer, or hard liquor like all the other spoilt kids who know how to have fun do.

Then there are the chutes. Its like they have just discovered sin. Its an epidemic. The last time I was in coast, I discovered they had completely taken over Florida nightclub, the one next to the sea, and fuc**d everything up by playing intolerable bhangra music the whole night. We were about 3 africans in the whole fuc*** place. Cr*p! Mombasa lost a part of its soul when Florida became an indian affair. Now, there are young men in jeans, earrings and nappy, dyed hair competing with the rest of us for african chics. Other dudes dont get to go for Indian chics. No no. What happened to the waifer thin, astute, conservative and business sharp young Indian man? If you guys go back to thinking you are too good to mingle with us african chaps and ladies, the world will be better off believe me.