Buying a phone

I've been contemplating buying my first mobile phone. I've had a total of two so far. The one I currently have, which was handed down to me, and the first, which was basically a house phone which I carried around once in a while [it wasn't mine mine].

Apart from the fact [pointed out to me by one of the docs] that chics' reactions would change instantly on seeing my current phone, and the fact that it reboots [just learnt init 6 the other day] itself every so often, I really have to qualms about it. From previous experiences, the period from the thought of buying something to actually having some wrapping of some sort to throw away [because I actually bought said thing] can approach infinity. They need to invent a new word for this kind of procrastination. And there's a whole bunch of shops, and models. There's a reason for defaults. Do I go to this shop, or the one next to it, or the one on the other side of the street. The choices of models are similarly mind boggling. I think it's why the names are mostly numerical derivatives. They couldn't possibly come up with meaningful names for all those phones. And the features? Do I need bluetooth, GPRS, cameras and the like. Do I really want them.