Thursday, January 25, 2007

Is it something I said?

This is the first Thursday in forever that I have gotten to work on time. In
a long while. There is something about the traffic jams on Thursday
mornings. Its much the same way that there are no traffic jams on Friday
morning. At least where I come from. You just glide to the office. Getting
late to the office on Thursday may also have something to do with Wednesday
night at Tropez. Something about an audience makes me freak out on details.
Quite soon someone will go like "Dude! That was you?!" Shove it.

Anyways, Wednesday night at Tropez is Karaoke night. Ages ago I used to do
my bit and impress the ladies with my smooth baritone, belting out timeless
classics. Nowadays, I just stick to what I know best. Guzzle liquor.

So, Wednesday night, as usual, I check into Tropez. 0.5 is on his way, still
trying to sneak out of the office. Its 6.30 and I'm raring to go. I order my
liquor and get to the task at hand. At the back of my mind is the fact that
I am actually supposed to be on a date by 7. Okay, any time from 7. Women
just simply cannot be on time, it is fashionable I am told. I have many
other words for it. The reason I am not settled is because the lady hasn't
actually confirmed the date. Mr. S calls me cynical but I figure that the
only reason a lady doesn't confirm the date until the last minute is because
she is hoping something better comes up. Or waiting for confirmation from
something better. Lets take a step back.

Previous Wednesday. 0.5 and I, already seeing things. You know the way
people look much better 7 drinks later. No no no. This one was real - I
think. At least the hooters were real. There she stood infront of us. She
was talking to some guy I know. Flat belly (do you have any Idea how hard it
is to see a flat belly nowadays?). Straight back. She was in a skirt that
day. I never forget a woman in a skirt. I think it was something plaid.
Whatever it was, we were happy folks right there 0.5 and I. A lady in a
skirt. Nice legs. Flat belly, straight back, and very nice behind. But the
hooters. Thats what caught my eye first (don't know what other dudes think,
but I'd rather she has great hooters than a rear). This one had it all. So
you understand why I was frantically gesturing at my buddy for an intro. He
wasn't really enthusiastic, and who can blame the guy? Anyways, something
happened (don't know what really - I think my mind was on something(s?)
else) and she was standing at our table. 0.5 did his voodoo talk and she sat
down. Nice. Nice. So far so good. We pooled resources and got her firmly
rooted to our table. A drink was ordered. After it arrived she mentioned she
was here with her boyfriend. What? Where is he? Right there she points. Ah
well. Its all good. If he is ok, so are we lady. Numbers were requested and
received. At some point her buddy - not the boyfriend - shows up and drags
her back to their table. Understandable. We went home happy.

Friday night. Such a vision. She was there again. This time she didn't sit
at our table, she still had the aforementioned boyfriend and they had not
broken up by the time we were leaving - I asked her if they had, every time
she passed our table. Broken up? No. And now? No. Now? Not yet. You'll let
me know won't you? You'll be the first to know. Awesome!

Saturday. I see the buddy. The one who dragged her back to the jamaa. I ask
where the object of my desire was and she replies that she is on her way.
The club gets brighter. Is she coming alone? Affirmative. No boyfriend? Not
today was the reply. I am told I have an evil laughter. I tried it out. Was
almost convinced myself. I try to calm down and wait for the lady to show
up, which she does. I mean, just seating next to her is enough for me. So we
talked, had a few drinks and set a date for Wednesday - yesterday.

So there I am, waiting for the fine lady, trying to stay calm because I am
not yet high. Every other time I have met her, my senses were numb, no
inhibitions. So I was abit nervous. Time goes by. 0.5 checks in. I'm still
trying to stay calm. She is late. Ok, she hasn't even confirmed. More
drinks. Sms comes in. She is on her way, at which point I figure someone
else stood her up (the boyfriend? - come to think of it, on Saturday she was
saying something about how the jamaa doesn't treat her right. And I remember
being impressed by how well I hid the glee from my voice - once again - An
ode to Black Ice: man's best friend - she just felt the need to share that
information with me. Very sly lady. So I start getting sweaty but she takes
her time making it there. By the time she arrives I am set. Well on my way
towards cloud ninety nine. There wasn't much that went on actually. Just
that 0.5, some other dude we were with and myself were surrounded by about 4
fine ladies. She came with her buddy, and was later joined by her cousins
(could it have been a setup to relieve me of my hard earned cash in the form
of liquor buying? - Maybe, but girls just want to have fun don't they?).
There we were gawking at a Black Ice laced lady with an awesome body
gyrating to grinding music. That there was the reason I got up in the
morning. An even more beautiful sight was all four of them in some sort of
freaky foursome dance. I love this game.

Then...something was said or done, or not said or not done. Confusing? It
was. Don't know if it was a ploy to leave the club, but suddenly she was up
and leaving, joined hastily by her buddy and cousins. I rush out trying to
figure out what happened. She says something about me not trusting her. I
can't really tell what we had been talking about but I can bet nothing about
trust came up. Ok. I have no clue what happened. So I pulled out my ace
card. I begged. She left anyway. Then I smsed and called and nagged like a
girl. She said she had forgiven me. I was tremendously relieved although I
think she just wanted to go back to sleep, not that I knew what I was being
forgiven for. And that was my date. I am hoping for seconds. Beat me up some
more Ms. Hooters.


Blogger 0.5 said...

Sambuca. Messed me up. Didn't catch the alarm and checked in at 11:00. Working in Technology has its pluses (like wearing jeans, t-shirts and open shoes on Monday. Sam, just had to rub that in).

About saying something? Probably. But I don't think so. It was an exit strategy. Payback for running out on those chics last Friday. Almost broke my legs flying down the stairs.

If indeed it was an exit strategy, next they will avoid Tropez and Veranda for a long time to come. We shall see on Friday, which is tomorrow.

Women are very odd. For example, I cannot find any logical explanation as to why the other two chics decided to stick around and there were a lot of men trying to dart them. Reminds me of "stolen cycles". As one danced, the other would find an opportunity to chat. Unless it was a setup.
The annoying thing is when a guy is alone and really striking out, there are no takers. They zoom past like you have an infectious disease. Same thing happens when you hook up with someone. A small crowd of hitherto unknown and unseen admirers crawl out of the woodwork and start tempting you.

The other nut,(can't remember his name) sticks out like a gorilla in a hen house and waits for Kamikaze and I to throw pints. Just the occasional stupid remark then goes back to watching TV. Not even chatting up the ladies. Where did this guy grow up? I felt an irrepressible urge to kick his teeth in.

Friday. Hope they show. If they don't, back to the booze.

Thursday, January 25, 2007 12:19:00 PM  
Anonymous Betty said...

0.5..don't try and understand chics..i'll tell you, for some wierd unexplainable reasons, a chic might tell her girls "don't leave me alone at that table!"..but prolly coz she fancies the jamaa and is scared to 'mess up? act silly? run off with him then blaim her girls baadaye ati 'how did u let me go just like that'?..yeah i know..wierd!
Other times i guess, her girls were just not seeing how their presence isn't needed.

Oh, for the other nut..lool he just sounds like he was there for free booze.

hope they show up kesho for you :)uhm..Ms Hooters especially.

Thursday, January 25, 2007 3:38:00 PM  
Blogger Princess said...

YOu should come to Cali...there are numerous women with flat stomachs!! Hope you see your "Ms. Hooters" again!!

Saturday, January 27, 2007 4:25:00 AM  

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