Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Temporary Suspension of Disbelief

Just watched Hitch. Medieval ain't I? Well, I am not a movie going person. I prefer bootleg DVDs (sue me) so that I can pause...oh that was f###### hilarious...and listen again. Ladies and Gentlemen I went to the movies for the first time in my life this year. I digress.

Hitch is not exactly funny (funny means something like Analyze This), but it is not a bad movie either. The director or script writer had it canned...until Hitch started grovelling for affection from the smart ass woman. Now that just got me pissed. I can understand a guy trying very hard, buying flowers on a daily basis, expensive dinners. Jumping on of a moving car (and one which is being driven by a raving lunatic at that)?

That is stretching imagination too far. I am not saying that it is impossible, or it cannot happen. It can. May be has. I am sure the beautiful women can regale us with such tales; What I am trying to say is that normal, fairly decent guys don't pull such stunts. I guess it is placating to see a guy like Will Smith doing kamikaze (not the Kamikaze. Kamikaze does not err..dive on cars) dives on top of a moving car to impress a woman, regardless of whether it is a movie or not. There was a b**s**t term I read somewhere on the internet that aptly describes the phenomenon. It goes: Temporary Suspension of disbelief. That statement is probably not grammatically correct. I am not sure how temporary the suspension is.

There are so many women who conjure up images of ideal Prince Charmings based on screen personalities and the impossible things they do on said screens. Those guys are the creations of people with rich imagination, make up artists, science and psychedelic lights and psychoanalysts who try to feed us the impression of how desirable men and women should look, behave and be.

I should like to be a star someday for about a month, if such a thing was possible; and then I can be a complete brat. Girls hide unbelievable fantasies behind timid personalities and those comely eyes. Gentlemen, you will not believe it until you see it for yourself. Recently we had a function where some local celebs were performing...the guy jumps off stage right into the frenzied crowd. He works his way among the throng of people gyrating, pecking a cheek here, feeling a boob here, a fond backside rub here, a clawed butt spanking there. They curved like bows, thrust their chests forward and shrieked with glee. Another guy attempted to replicate that and almost had his eyes gouged out ala Kill Bill's Elle Driver style. The artiste reached a certain lady, who is known to be engaged and started twisting like a trapped coyote; She did not waste any time. She pounced on him like he was a fresh kill, slapping him with a full kiss: lips, tongue, all the teeth and part of her nose, raised her skirt hem and wrapped her legs around his waist. Whoa! Not even alcohol is that potent. Now if there is a time when a musician on stage should be grateful for that pre-recorded music they play (pretending they are perfoming live), this was such a time. It would have been a tad difficult to sing with a full grown woman strapped to his waist (and mouth).
All that was needed here was a lights out.

Of course there was a whole lot of blushing after the tide of emotions subsided. Poor alchohol, probably once again blamed for the ills in people's heads.

They say who is the cutest celeb guy in Nairobi? Your chic would shag him without blinking if given half a chance. Such rich blessing.


Blogger aJamaa said...

Trying to picture a grown woman sticking her chest out to be grabbed by some 'celeb' makes me feel pain. Its not right for a guy to be molested like that.

Looks like my preference for movie dates has not rubbed off on you. Movie dates are especially good for someone you just met because, you get to choose a movie that you would like to watch, you do not have to talk too much, the cost is deterministic unlike taking a chik out for drinks or lunch and having her order several rounds of an expensive drink or telling you she is tired when you have just started getting your drink on. You also get to get a good look at chik you met at 2 a.m. when it was dark and you were drunk.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006 5:29:00 PM  
Blogger Princess said...

I love Hitch and have watched the movie countless times.

Thursday, November 02, 2006 2:51:00 AM  

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