Thursday, April 27, 2006

Being mummy's boy

All your life you do things in a certain way, then you grow up and get all sorts of labels thrown at you.

Growing up, I always tried to do the right thing by everyone around me. [The folly of this kind of thinking has since become apparent to me and trying to please everyone will only occasion you to many visits to the psychiatrist] No one more so than my mother. I tried to wash the dishes when she asked. Eat the vegetables on my plate. Go to church. It's neglibigle, all this, considering all she's done for me. Continues to do.

Apparently there is a certain bond that mothers have with sons and father with daughters, and not of the Freudian variety. Mothers and daughters also seem to have a unique and rather strained relationship. Why is it that women don't like their own.

Anyway. I was also mostly raised by my mum during my formative years. That's probably why my attachment to her is so strong. I remember the emotions Tupac's Dear Mama used to evoke in me. My favourite artiste singing about something I felt very strongly about. I thought of playing the song to her on a number of occasions but couldn't think of how I'd convince my mum to listen to gangsta rap.

Apparently though, being close to your mother precludes you from getting the attention of women. Mummy's boys are just about as likeable and attractive as nice guys. I, however, don't see as mutually exclusive being close to your mother and your galfriend/wife/prospective. These relationships are worlds apart. One doesn't compete with the other simply on the account of their disparity.

I've always figured if I ever found someone who was willing to spend more than a couple of hours with me on a Saturday evening, I'd put her on the proverbial pedestal. To hell with the rules. It would be me and her against the world. My mum would always be my mum, but she... she would be the one. The command to leave one's parents and cleave onto the wife comes to mind. I especially like the cleaving part.

When all is said and done, I make choices and live by them. Make my bed and so must lie in it. Misconceptions and labels aside, I am who I am.

6 Comments:

Blogger Bee said...

so what happens if your mum can't stand your girlfriend.. hates the sight of her, can't spend a minute with her and the same for your girlfriend. Will you really leave your mum and cleave to your new find?

Thursday, April 27, 2006 1:37:00 PM  
Blogger Samborera said...

So many things I could say. What would make them dislike each other so? Besides, I picked up a lot of traits from my mum so if she doesn't like you, I also probably won't. If this worst case scenario does happen, I still don't see the problem as long as we aren't all living together. When I want to visit my mum, I'll do it on my own. She wouldn't have to come. And my mum would never ever agree to come and stay over.

Thursday, April 27, 2006 1:59:00 PM  
Blogger aJamaa said...

Everything good in me came from my folks. Since I live at home I get a lot of that momma's boy nonesense. I wish I could be a momma's boy. If I did all the things my mum wanted me to do all would be well in my world.

... found someone who was willing to spend more than a couple of hours with me on a Saturday evening, I'd put her on the proverbial pedestal

I think an even bigger problem is finding someone you want to spend that much time with too.

Thursday, April 27, 2006 5:48:00 PM  
Blogger Samborera said...

True. True.

Friday, April 28, 2006 8:52:00 AM  
Blogger Girl in the Meadow said...

I think an even bigger problem is finding someone you want to spend that much time with too.

And i thought we were tight. Mmh
walks away feeling dejected

Anywhow mummy's boys make disaster for supper

Thursday, May 25, 2006 12:58:00 PM  
Blogger Samborera said...

That myth of mummy's boys being picky about eating stuff cooked by anyone other than their mum is exactly that. I have chapati mix for lunch every day.

Thursday, May 25, 2006 2:32:00 PM  

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