Friday, October 16, 2009


I attended my first wedding committee meeting yesterday. I've always wondered what these things are about, and what people do for weeks on end. And after a couple of hours, I was non the wiser.

I did garner some insight though. Although all along it felt like the first day at a new school. Where do we stand, where do we go from here, when do we talk, where are the toilets, can I go back home. It was quite apparent that I was the only one around the table who'd never been to one of these. In fact, I was one of the few who didn't have a ring flashing about when I gesticulated. At the end of it all, it turned out that the purpose of the committee is to get quotes from people who bake cakes and the like. To which I thought, has someone not compiled a list and pasted it on the internet somewhere? Surely, hundreds of people need not sit in restaurants every evening and talk about the same thing. What a guy needs is a few guys to help out on D-day, when he's too busy being anxious and nervous and stuff. Oh. Another thing I learnt. The cost of the wedding dress is not to be mentioned as part of the budget. Which means either the cost is nominal, or the cost of the wedding dress is not to be mentioned as part of the budget.

If I'm to go down this road, it's probably another 5,6 years away. At least. You need a life's savings to pull this marriage business off. Then again I'm the kind of guy who'd probably just get a certificate and forgo all the hullabaloo. If any of the good doctors took x-rays of my body they'd tell you that there isn't a romantic bone to be found.


Anonymous kellie said...

It's time guys graduated to wedding planners, committees waste too much time.

Friday, October 16, 2009 9:09:00 PM  
Blogger 0.5 said...

Something similar happened to me last year. My cousin, had dragged along her soon to be husband, and all the young fellows had been invited to a a goat-eating ceremony. There was a sizeable crowd of aunties, boys and girls, fathers and uncles and other such sensible people. My typical reaction in environments such as this is to grab a seat, sit somewhere fairly out of view and turn pages of the Tom Clancy or Ludlum that I am carrying at the moment (novels are the only entertainment in shags) ...

Now, there is this uncle of mine who has appointed himself advisor on matters life; Which irks me to no end because not even my father (who has a greater responsibility over me) dares to venture discussing such things with me - the dude looks around and shouts; Where is 0.5? Come around here. So I relunctantly join the big circle and as am about to sit down, the guy announces ..The reason I have called you here, 0.5, is because, soon we'll be expecting you to bring us a lady and open negotiations which you will need us ...therefore it is important for you, and the other young men here to know how these discussions are done ...

I see red and halt my approach towards the chair. Am considering saying something nasty and walking right back out, but you can never do such things in front of relatives. My old lady is very distressed - she knows how mad these things make me - being a quiet bloke has its perks. I sit through one hour of mindless drivel - and then relatives wonder why you never visit or call them. In my mind, I keep visiting my graduation ceremony; And another time I was asked to introduce myself in church and tell people what I have been upto lately (by the same uncle!) - that time I pretended I had lost all hearing and didn't budge. My folks were embarassed; I was pissed so I didn't care. Some people never learn. Am honestly convinced, if there wasn't so much fanfare and pompous ceremony around weddings, guys wouldn't resist it so much. Standing in front of one million strangers in a funny suit, doing funny dances and having to suffer chanting old women - who are mostl y strangers scares the hell out of many young men. This African hospitality thing is over-rated.

Saturday, October 17, 2009 1:18:00 PM  
Blogger Samborera said...

kellie - That's a fair point.
Although I doubt the wedding planner would offer to changa towards the cost of the whole thing. [the other reason for the committee]

0.5 - On graduation day, after the thing was over, I switched off my phone and made my way to Hall 2 rather than risk going out the main gate and contend with a host of relatives. It's how much I dislike fanfare.

Are there women who don't like fancy weddings I wonder.

Thursday, October 22, 2009 9:29:00 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home