The Banana and the Blackforest

Never cared much for History. But before I started suicidally addling my brain with the good old Tusker, I recall reading somewhere about a Chinese general (or is it British?), in one war or the other who shunted off a small batallion of soldiers in one direction to distract the enemy. The rest of the troops, were able to penetrate the territory as their colleagues got slaughtered. Chilling.
Kamikaze can be a war-time general: This is because of deft and very astute decision making delivered last Friday. Shall we dial back?

9PM and 0.5 steps into Tropez to find one Kamikaze, the Banana (and her friend), the Colonel and another bloke or two doing the usual. I need about three beer to shake off the cobwebs accumulated from the toil of the last week, but on this occasion things were different. It takes only one and the arrival of Blackforest (and yes! her friend) at the table. Kamikaze visibly slumped, eyes closed involuntarily and mouthed on autopilot 'bloody f**king sh**!' - or something like that. I am darkly amused.

The dance then began in earnest. I can assure, no entertainment beats having a ringside seat to such drama. The Colonel dived headlong into the Banana - not literally. The Kamikaze, started a complicated routine of talking one up, then the other. Time Division Multiplexing. Beautiful. I have always wanted to draw a parallel between real life and a computer processor. Then the other bloke started chatting up Blackforest's friend. Then the Banana, started talking to Blackforest's friend. The alarms lit up and one Kamikaze went...what the f**k is happening? Alas, the old reverse psychology.

As everyone was busy talking, avoiding breach of boundaries and clawing each other, the Blackforest got up with her friend, started dancing. Then, she dug her hands into her butt and kissed her for ...I can't remember..about five seconds. Heady stuff.

3AM. Time has moved fast. The club is about to shut down. A fork on the road. Which way to go? Then Kamikaze stands and does that unbelievable piki piki ponki thing that many of us have done when faced with a difficult situation (hey, my present career is based on a coin toss - who am I to start throwing stones?). I guess the dice landed on the Banana and in one swift action, the kamikaze commandeered the Banana, her friend and the rest of the party out of the pub. Its like Blackforest had ceased to exist. Clinical. Pure cojones. When two women I was seeing met at one table (long time ago), I RAN out.

The aftermath. The blackforest unleashed a mile long course of vitriol and invective. Kamikaze, I can quite assure you, you have never been call an assh*** quite so many times within the space of five minutes. Her friend was not very bothered. I had tuned out of all the cursing and was beginning to hatch a scheme or two on the friend. She is cute in a naughty sort of way. The Blackforest was distraught and wanted to drink, then in the light of what had happened I figured people might not be in a rolling mood today, so I shelved my designs on Blackforest's friend. Then there is her sister (Blackforest) but that is a story for another day.

Who knows what will happen Saturday evening?