Monday, September 10, 2007

The war between 6:00 and 7:00.

Its like a familiar bank commercial. " In small manageable pieces ..." you want to extend that sweet sleep by another 10 minutes. That "snooze" is a derailer! You lose count of how many snoozes you have hit and voila! 7:00 wins again.

Now sh*t has hit the fan. Fly out of the bed like a demon, throwing things about only to come to a screeching halt in the bathroom. The unforgiving cold makes you curl like a roasted onion leaf; And you haven't touched the water yet. Another 10 minutes pass as you contemplate the ice- cold water, trying to postpone the moment by doing mundane things like shuffling your underwear about, brushing your teeth etc etc. Another jolt and you go like I really have to get under that shower now - two minutes and its all over. Stare down and oaahhh! Mr Biggs is in the background ,....THAT is not my -!

The school brats are all over and there is no transport. You have not bought a car like all the other progressive people and you have to walk a long way off before you can catch a very rickety matatu with the smell of diesel all over it. At this point mathematics and physics of motion and distance come into play. My practiced eye can tell to within half a meter where the mathree will stop; And I am there in a dash!
I slip my genteel manner into my pockets and apply a few rugby moves by shoving pregnant women and children out of the way - you don't pay my salary you suckers - and promptly board; Once inside I transform into a gentleman again.

We are on our way cheered on by ludicrous crunk music or dirty therapy and lewd talk on Classic 105. You squirm as you sit between two women who could easily be your mum and her older sister as a caller on radio vividly describes a three-some she had with office colleagues; Darn! The progressive types have choked the roads with cars. You are barely moving.

It is 9. I hate arriving late when my mdosi is there. I open the door and I notice his eyes shifting to the system tray. Darn! Darn! Darn! I walk briskly to my desk and sit down. And keep quiet for a while, hoping that my lateness will be forgotten quickly.

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