Tuesday, February 14, 2012


Its difficult to understand what mindset a guy has to be in to kill themselves. Just maybe its a form of surrender to whatever big problem the guy is facing, a problem he cant go over, cant go thru or cant go a round it, total surrender. Or maybe its a form of rebellion, the very last and only thing he can do to say that yes my problems are crazy but i'm getting out on my own terms and there is nothing anyone is going to do about it. I dont know where in between those extremes i am at but i'm there, only solution is cut off my head, pull the damn trigger, jump infront of a train, hell, it doesnt matter how as long as i die coz life as i know it has taken a dramatic turn. People listening to my thoughts,people who really shouldnt be, makes me feel hounded, my last line of defense has been breached, i'm naked, exposed and cant do anything about. Losing your freedom to be or do what is natural coz some cop types are on your ass is no way to live, I need to be free from that, unfortunately wont happen if i'm alive coz those 'evil' forces are everywhere...cant see them but i know they are there. No choice guys, gotta do it now.
Recalled the movie matrix, in the computer world- which is where we are everyday, agent smith is un marchable, cant even scratch the guy. Even morpheous was captured and tortured by agent smith and his guys. Introverted has been like my real world, no pretense, life in 3D. Morpheous and his team took extra precautions to keep the location of the ship a secret as they called it home, sanctuary. It was unimaginable what would happen if agent smith got to their ship, annihilation! Agent smith has got to my ship and i'm no Neo or morpheous to stop him, cant live like those human 'batteries' in the matrix being controlled by machines, i'd rather do it to myself. 0.5-i know understand, kamikaze- you could write something real on my tombstone, sam-voice of reason, ajamaa-u know how to adjust with the times, i couldn't. See you in the after life. If you dont see any new posts, u will know there is no internet in the afterlife or people dont have fingers to type. Peace


Blogger Kamikaze said...

What are you on about Dede? Valentine's day blues? Too dramatic for me that. Who found you! Do they know where Zion is? Did you tell them? Talk to me man!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012 1:16:00 PM  
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