Too good

I've spent a bit of time calling the number 100 recently. And not in the hope that some chic with a lovely husky voice will answer and indulge my fantasies.

My first impression was how good the training must be for these folks. Brilliant. I went for a course once where we were taught how to answer the phone. Like most training courses I attended though, as soon as I was back in the office, it was back to business as usual. To be fair, the amount of stuff they required you to say when you picked up the phone, before the third ring, was too much. You'd be out of breath before the conversation even started. Not these folks. Some default text rolls out their tongues as easy as pie. Default text that I never listen to.

Then there's the politeness in the voice. It's not human to be that nice. That training again. Either that of they work with a row of huge axes above their workstations. They want to help with any and all problems I may have? Who are these people. When I was working, I hated receiving phone calls. A phone call meant some guy wanted something. And if he was calling it was either to ask for something quick, urgently, or to complain about something urgent not being done yet. So every time you answered a call, the times that you did actually answer and not stare at the phone, waiting for it to stop ringing, you were on the defensive. Yes? What do you want? Growling behind every response. When a guy has a tonne of work he tends to growl. Or maybe it's just me.

The guys who earn their living talking on the phone are mighty different, thankfully. I tried using slang but all that came back was polished webster's kind of stuff. That must have been a big No-No at training camp, being informal. Tried to ask her plans for the weekend but engaging the customer in small talk is definitely not in the manual. Hey, I was just trying to loosen things up. Don't like talking to robots much. But the discipline these guys have is incredible. I always said it's a good thing people are different. I wouldn't last one day at that job. I'll stick with easier things. If I'm not getting too old for that too.