Malta

I clearly don't understand how businesses work. Because I don't understand how you can [still] be spending money advertising Malta. The last I remember seeing anyone drinking it was like 2005. And it was me drinking.

It was during one of those ill-fated thingies. I'd arrived early as usual and sat myself at the counter. Might as well have a friendly chat with the bar man. Even then, what to drink in a bar was a headache. What do you have that I can take. No. No. What else. Ah. I'll try this Malta thing. Why not. One sip. And that's all I could take. I can't quite remember the taste right now but since then I associate that experience with weetabix without sugar and being instantly full.

If the target market is guys like me, and I couldn't get a single bottle down, who drinks the stuff. And there's nothing I'd fancy more than an alternative. After plenty of fillings and innumerable sore throats, I'm stuck with plain water. It's why I don't really enjoy sitting in bars for extended periods of time. I have my 6-8 glass ration at home. Anything more is just torture.

But there must be some marketing guy somewhere getting paid because of Malta. Somebody who writes proposals and product campaigns. Some guy who prepares monthly reports. It must be making a profit. Some people somewhere must be drinking it.