Friday, January 04, 2008

Seething with anger

Its a nice Friday afternoon, the sun is out and there are some nice blu skies and I am on leave. This should be a perfect day, but I am not having a nice day, I have not drunk since 23 Dec , I have not been to the gym since 19 Dec. But this is not why today is not a good day. The reason is that I am angry, seething with fury actually and short of punching the wall next to me or screaming into my pillow I do not know what to do.

I am angry because while people are getting burnt in churches and hacked to death (saw a very disturbing clip on Aljazeera of a guy getting hacked with a panga in Mathare) Kibaki is saying that he will only dialogue with 'interested parties' after political tempers cool down, the government spokesman is saying that they will not form a coalition with the loosers of the election, Kimunya is saying that Kenya does not require external parties to help mediate discussions with government (I am sure some Rwandan minister said the same thing in 1994), and Raila is saying that ODM will keep putting pressure on government.

I am furious that there is nothing I can do to stop the blood shed in the country and those who can are not doing what they must. They are playing a game of stare at me staring at you and lets see who flinches first while we die. How much blood do they want on their hands before they stop their stupidity 1,000, 10,000, 100,000.

I washed my hands off politics some time back. I am extremely skeptical of anyone who ventures into politics. When I was in campus I had very little respect for all the guys who stood for positions in SONU they were not the most reasonable people and yet it is this same people and others who are worse than them that become politicians so how can I waste time with a politician I ask myself. I registered as a voter in 2002 and voted but became disullusioned after that. I took holiday during the 2005 referendum to avoid voting. I watched movies on December 2007 to avoid voting. I was done choosing the lesser evil and since I cannot give a negative vote I was no longer willing to partake in this fallacy that is politics. I was happy being an innocent bystander, a spectator in this silly game. In my mind if I was not part of electing or rejecting a government then that government would have no moral authority over me. I would condone it but not get my knickers into a knot over any corruption, failed promises or ineptude it displayed. The government would be a nuisance, a necessary evil, a benign tumor that I would have to interact with when paying taxes, renewing drivers licenses and such other things. For the rest of the time I could go about sorting my life out.

There must be something I can do. If two men and their cronies can affect me and 30 million other people as adversely as they have I must be able to affect the two men.


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