Wednesday, August 31, 2005

spineless

This post is dedicated to all the spineless creatures out there. And since things like eels and salamanders and newts (or anything else with an american name) cannot read (i think), then you know I am talking to YOU.

Spineless. No backbone. Can't stand up for yourself. Stupid snivelling idiot. Okay, hold your pistols, I am describing myself.

On this here blog, I claimed to have let go. Of smoking, drinking and of certain persons. How long did it take? The smoking, A spirited two weeks. The drinking, a pathetic three days.

Here is the clincher. After divesting myself of all avenues of contact with the aforementioned "someone" (including a pathetic 'willing myself to forget all phone numbers', after deleting the mobile number from my cell phone), I went ahead and bloody well called. I am so ashamed of myself.

I guess even this very act of writing this down is pitiful in itself. Like I am seeking atonement of some sort. Pitiable.

Now I can't finish what I started, because I realise, I really did not want to call this "someone". I simply did it because I couldn't help myself. Which in the end is just sad.

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