Now this is insanity

Background
A long time a go when I was wee little lad no older than ten and three years old. There was this little las who captured my heart and loins. As I grew up into aJamaa I still considered this lass easy on the eye, and she grew up and blossomed into a fair maiden.

A few weeks ago I felt this strong urge to send the chik the e-mail below.

The E-Mail

There is something I have always wanted to tell you, but always felt to
afraid or thought that you would not want to hear. The good thing about
growing older is that one starts to see things in a different light,
things
that used to matter a few year ago no longer seem important while stuff
that was unimportant is now a matter of life and death. The thing is I
had
a serious crush on you when I was twelve, when I was sixteen I still
had a
crush on you, when I was twenty it was still there and now that I am
twenty-six I can still feel it. What I am basically saying is that I
have
been thinking about spending time with you, talking you, touching you,
kissing you, making love to you for the last fourteen years. That is
more
than half my life.

During my early teens I used to get extremely nervous around girls, I
would
get butterflies in my stomach, a lump would rise to my throat, and my
head
would get cloudy and start feeling hot. This made it very difficult to talk to girls.
With time I became more
confident
and now I do not get these feelings, unless I am with you. Around you I
feel twelve, there is something about you that gets me very excited,
something that makes me a little boy again. Something else I must say
is
that you are easily the most beutiful woman I have met. You are so
beutiful
I cannot look at you straight (for real check it out the next time you
see
me). I cannot even keep a memory of your face in my mind, it would hurt
too
much.

During this fourteen years there is nothing that you have done or said
that
could make me thing that you feel the same way. So why am I what I am
saying? The reason is simple, one of the saddest things about life is
that
no matter how much you like someone you cannot make them like you back,
infact the more disintrested they are the more you want them. And fate
has
this strange way of making our paths keep crossing.  It was bad enough
that
we went to the same primo, things got worse when you moved closer to
my place, now you were spending your nights less than a
kilometre
from my bed. Of all the campuses in the world we both had to go to UoN.
And for the
proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, you had to come and work here,
so
now as soon as I have these feelings under control I ran into you and
go
back to being a twelve year old . I must have done something really bad
to
deserve this kind of heartache or something really good to have the
pleasure of enjoying a crush for fourteen years.

I ask again so why am I saying all these things? Am I hoping that you
will
read the stuff, get weak in the knees, run to where am sitted and
proclaim
your love for me? I know you so I dont expect that to happen. I am
saying
what I am saying because I can. I am saying what I am saying because I
have
always wanted to say it, I have to say it and I am now ready to say it.
It
would be nice for you to reply to my ramblings but you do not have to.

So as you go about living your life, working or not working, happy or
sad,
sick or off good health, married or single, I will always think about
you
and imagine us together. This will both cause me joy and pain. But it
is my
life and there is nothing you can do about it and I have no desire to
do
anything about it.

Her reply: came after a few weeks with the Subject

hey

I wanted to reply to your mail earlier but I got too busy skiving work, shame on me. I wasnt snobbing honest. I'm not that mean. & then I really didnt know what to say.

I am very flattered. Honestly, I neva in a million years would have guessed that you had a crush on me. I just thot u were kinda shy.

I'm not going to feed u a "u r a fabulous guy n any gal would be flattered & its not you its me" coz I have known u for so long am not going to use a line. & am not going to lie that am seeing someone, which am not, for now, this particular minute.

But I cant go out with you, I don't wonna do that now. I don't have those kind of feelings for you. I like u as a friend, that's it.I don't think am going to develop such feelings for u. Am sorry it may hurt but better the truth now than me using u then u discover later.

I do hope that we will both be mature about this whole thing that neva was. I hope u do not think am a challange n try to convince me further. & I will not take advantage of you.

Am sorry, I have tried to be very gentle n would have written longer mail but as it is it is 4.25pm n am about late for leaving work.

That boys and gals is real insanity.